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post #61 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-19-2014, 12:41 PM
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Re: Harsh posters

Quote:
Originally Posted by Theseus View Post
I am only referring to what I see in this thread. And given 2ntnuf's admitted deliberate prodding, I can't blame Novella for calling him a "fool". That's pretty mild response actually.

The only time I have ever been banned from any website is here on TAM, when I was banned once for 2 weeks for making a joke that was pretty mild compared to what I see in this thread.



Anyway, what I really objected to here was the mocking, troll cartoons, and several members (including a moderator) practically giving each other high-fives over driving a member away. What's next? Handing out medals?

It leaves a bad taste in my mouth because several times I have seen veterans here gang up, slyly insult an OP without openly using insults, then when that OP has enough and fires back they all say "see! I knew you were unstable". Ironically, you see this happen in marriages too, where one partner provokes another until they explode, and then that first partner can say to the world: "look I was right, I'm married to an angry person".
Theseus,

Why don't you start a thread somewhere on what you'd like addressed. It seems you have valid concerns. If you start your own, you may get a whole bunch of great opinions. Are you open to that? Some won't agree with you. Is that alright? I think you could pm a moderator and ask if it's alright to do that and where it could be started.


"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
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post #62 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-19-2014, 12:51 PM
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Re: Harsh posters

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Originally Posted by lenzi View Post
I came across this thread, and then I went and searched through the Ops back posts before reaching the conclusion that they were far from an "innocent victim that only retaliated when ganged up on". They were a trouble maker from the start. The mods knew it,
Many of the OP's posts were deleted for violations. The OP had made a habit of baiting members then reporting them when she got a snarky reply. In other words she was wasting my ****ing time.

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Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.

"Some of the greatest lessons life has taught me came from my darkest days in it" -Amp
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post #63 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-19-2014, 12:52 PM
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Re: Harsh posters

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Originally Posted by Amplexor View Post
Many of the OP's posts were deleted for violations. The OP had made a habit of baiting members then reporting them when she got a snarky reply. In other words she was wasting my ****ing time.
Well there ya go.

'Nuff said.
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post #64 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-19-2014, 05:59 PM
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Re: Harsh posters

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Originally Posted by lenzi View Post
Why not take a gander at the Ops back posts and come back with your opinion rather than take a stand of defense against a person you only know from this one thread?

I did just that, looked through a few pages of posts, and I didn't see anything objectionable. But that's hardly surprising, since apparently many of the OP's posts have been deleted. Not much I can do about that since I'm not a mod.
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post #65 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-19-2014, 06:04 PM
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Re: Harsh posters

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Originally Posted by ScarletBegonias View Post
I'm a regular,never been banned and I'm wondering if you have some examples of where this is happening (regulars ganging up on a new poster)

If you saw the "my husband gets mad that I go to work functions after work" thread in the general relationships forum, that was a perfect example (but as I said, it was deleted a couple days ago). I can find other examples, but that might take me awhile to dig them up. If I do, I'll put them here.


Quote:
Originally Posted by 2ntnuf View Post
Theseus,

Why don't you start a thread somewhere on what you'd like addressed. It seems you have valid concerns. If you start your own, you may get a whole bunch of great opinions. Are you open to that? Some won't agree with you. Is that alright? I think you could pm a moderator and ask if it's alright to do that and where it could be started.
Not a bad idea, and I probably will do that at some point although I don't see why anyone would need to ask the mods first.
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post #66 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-20-2014, 01:04 AM
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Re: Harsh posters

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Originally Posted by Amplexor View Post
Many of the OP's posts were deleted for violations. The OP had made a habit of baiting members then reporting them when she got a snarky reply. In other words she was wasting my ****ing time.
Yeah well what took so dang long???? I saw many of the baits. They weren't even close to being borderline OK, and I hit report. A good 5 times at least. Most of those were ignored.
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post #67 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-20-2014, 10:13 AM
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Re: Harsh posters

Theseus...

It sounds to me you are more upset with a general observation you cite concerning the treatment of new posters vs. old than you are about Novella... Your gripe, sorry to say, does not apply to Novella AT ALL... Novella routinely nitpicked, quibbled, and misused the posts of others to achieve her own lulz. Then when the same was done with her posts, she cried foul.

I'm sure the mods do what they can and ultimately might miss something... When they do miss something, the last thing they need for their thankless job is performance evaluations by users here. I'm pretty certain that they have already been taking into account everything you cited happens here. It's not news to them I'm sure.

I know for a fact that they do a great job here since I have been banned before. lol
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post #68 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-25-2014, 08:34 AM
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Re: Harsh posters

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Originally Posted by Theseus View Post
Frankly, I find this attitude, and in fact this entire thread disgusting.

So one person makes sexual jokes at a poster, and in response he/she calls him a "fool" and that's supposed to be the pot calling the kettle black? These things are equivalent?
I try my best to NOT be rude on this forum... it doesn't mean I don't think some unsavory thoughts behind this keyboard though...

I have never reported 1 person here in 4 yrs... maybe that makes me too tolerant even... I also go out of my way to NOT jump on new posters... I've even defended them at times...simply because I understand many come here in an angry frame of mind to get a RANT off their chest... I feel some tolerance is in order for that sort of thing... even with some generalizing -given their personal experience... which is screaming at the moment inside their heads....

I feel our responses to them.. is vital to calm that spirit down, so they can get their feet back in the ground...and reason.... after so many back & forths....one can see if this is having any effect or they just want to remain "difficult", spurring contention.
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post #69 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-25-2014, 02:31 PM
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Re: Harsh posters

Quote:
and today my heart is broken...thank you to those who have reached out to me. Your kindness has been overwhelming. I really appreciate you.

Sincerely,
Mrs. JA
Why is your heart broken today?

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
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post #70 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-25-2014, 02:42 PM
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Re: Harsh posters

Well, you've earned respect. Own it. You deserve it. Those who don't give it, are damaged and can't find perspective, yet. They can only see through their own eyes. Sometimes, we have to see that and let them go. Someone told me once that when Jesus turned the other cheek, that meant He turned and let them see His backside as He walked away. Something to think about. Some folks aren't ready to be helped.


"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
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post #71 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-25-2014, 03:00 PM
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Re: Harsh posters

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Originally Posted by Mrs. John Adams View Post
just some confrontation yesterday.
You came out on top.
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post #72 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-25-2014, 03:08 PM
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Re: Harsh posters

Thank you. Already referred someone back to the link.
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post #73 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-25-2014, 03:18 PM
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Re: Harsh posters

Here is something I just happened upon. I was looking for songs that would be comforting. I was inspired to post it here. I think it's worth a look.

Lessons in my 20′s: God & Temper Tantrums. : everydaydolce.com

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson

"And this, too, shall pass away."
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post #74 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-26-2014, 09:16 AM
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Re: Harsh posters

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Originally Posted by Mrs. John Adams View Post
and some just like to use others for punching bags....I get it

I like what you said...thank you

I don't like it when "harsh posters" try to use my dear MJA as a punching bag.

And if I can't stand in front of those throwing the punches, I'll stand beside her. She is the kind of friend you'd gladly take a punch for.

I don't understanding attacking those who tell "their truth" in an attempt to help someone in pain.

I love The Adams Family
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post #75 of 128 (permalink) Old 02-26-2014, 09:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. John Adams View Post
and some just like to use others for punching bags....I get it

I like what you said...thank you
One thing I've always found is that even in their pain people show you who they are. I can see people here that are flat out nasty, and I'd bet that's who they were before said pain; it's not hard to see why their marriages blew up even though they don't want to hear it.

Then there are others that are in pain and maybe a little snarky, but there's not really a nasty tone in their posts (2ntnuf I put you here :-) ), and you can usually have a discussion with these people. These are the people I feel the worst for, because I can see them being generally decent people that were just put through the ringer. Particularly of they've behaved badly themselves and they know it, because they have a conscience and feel bad. These are the people least likely to look for a punching bag. Those that do are often miserable human beings in general.
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