mrnice

Ok, after 7 years of marriage, my wife just bailed out. She has had this in her for the last 19 months since she first committed an act of infidelity.

I accepted her for her faults because of, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE but she did it again and AGAIN.

I can sincerely say that I have not changed one little bit towards her since we first met till this day.

What I have come to notice about her is that she needs constant attention from ME of which I cannot provide. It's as though she wants me to be with her ALL THE TIME. I cannot do anything without her giving me the third degree about why I don't want to be with her 24/7. It's been extremely draining.


She always makes seriously unneccessary negative comments towards family and friends. And she is very self destructive, mentally.

She has grown up in a family in which gave her other sibling more attention then her therefore this has grown with her to marriage.

She is always asking me if she looks pretty. I always say, "Of course you're pretty darling, why do you think I married you"
She is always comparing how other girls look to her.
She is always saying she wants a boob job
She is always saying she hates her belly after having two children
She is always saying. I want a facelift.
She hasn't had to work in the past 6 years.
She has always had what she needed. LOVE, KIDS, CARS, SECURITY and GREAT LIFE.
Oh BTW she's only 32.

What do you call someone who is always wanting attention and is concerned about their looks.

This has to be a medical problem.
I've heard of 'Attention Seeker' and 'Self conscious'
but seriously she brings another meaning to it.

Other women know of mine and my soon to be ex wife's marriage problems and they always say. "She is so lucky to have a husband and father of her children like you"
Some even say "She doesn't deserve you"

I'm far from being an *******, I never yell, never argue without good reason.

I also know and have told my wife, she may never find another guy who treats her and her/my children as well as I do. But she believes it's in her genes to move on in life and find another partner, get this, WHETHER IT BE MALE OR FEMALE.

I am probably just venting cause I know it's over. But can someone please tell me. What the hell is wrong with this girl that I married.

Bob S

It's not you, thats for sure. What you are going thru is the carbon copy of my former marriage. She was never happy no matter what. I could not do anything right and I was horrible for not understanding her every whim. I never did enough around the house, gave her emotional support did enough with the kids and so on, until she had an emotional affair and asked for a divorce. She is now hanging with a 23 y/o boyfriend and says she happier than she has ever been to the point of leaving the kids on christmas to be with him. ( one of the reasons she said for the d. was I was responsible to work on christmas and didn't try to get it off) I finally came to the realization tha it was her fault alone and nothing I could have done would have saved us. The only reason we lasted 16 years was I was such a sap to her, and her whims

BigBadWolf

Two of you men, stop whatever you are doing that will never work, and listen to this and read it many times:

Do NOT be the "nice guy".

Being a "nice guy" will make a man miserable and drive his woman into the arms of a new man.

A woman will always resent a "nice guy".

This is because she is going to feel insecure.

She is feeling insecure because the "nice guy" is following a woman, and this is not natural and is NOT sexually attractive to her.

A woman by natural is wanting to follow her man.

A man strives to dominate, a woman strives to be dominated.

Understand this, and marriage will be bliss. Ignore this, and the married man will become more miserable until he is wishing for the day of his death.

Want to light the fire of sexual attractoin in the woman? Then simply be the man in control of himself and his environment.

To make this even more clear and not being confused and miserable is important to you, then see my profile and look for most any post, start oldest to newest, to see how time and time again the woman is leaving the "nice guy" in the dust for a "dominant man" and why this is happening.

I wish you well.

Bob S

I realized this to late in the proceddings but it has shaped how I will be in the future. To be honest though I don't feel as this would have worked with my ex as she would've found another reason to be miserable

mrnice

Dude, you've got my now ex-wife, downpat.

You are dead right about trying to be the dominant one in our situation. Cause let me tell you I've tried that angle on occassions and all it did was backfire, she resented me for it.

And yes she is always finding something or someone to slag off in a negative way. It is a constant, obviously uncontrollable thing. Here's a classic example of the behaviour.

She will point another couple out and say hey they arn't happy together for whatever reasons. I'll reply with. "How other people live their lives are of no consequence to you or us, if they are unhappy then so be it, for all you know they are probably happy living like that so you really shouldn't be concerned. Focus on the positive things of other people"

She takes that onboard then the next day she will back up her comment by getting a friend who knows the couple to validate it. So she will say to me "You know what I was saying about XYZ(couple) yesterday, well even ABC(friend) said the same thing about them(couple)"

But BOBS, as for the you can't do enough to keep her happy, far out Holy shiite man that's her. I was talking to a good friend of ours last night and she said, "You're the only guy I know who vacuums, cooks, washes up, irons etc"
And yeh BOBs as for the DOING THE RESPONSIBLE thing on CHRISTMAS, dude my wife had our second child and I HAD to work 2 days after she had our child. Im self employed and in a business where if I have to work I HAVE TO WORK. Otherwise quite simply we don't have a business. So off I went to work. Then nothing was said until about 6 months later. And she made it clear she hated me for doing it, although she gave me the green light to work.

And the other point you touched on 'BOBS' the young bfriend.
Yep well I can honestly say without a doubt she will be picking up blokes within the next 2 weeks and I can guarantee the first one will be aged no younger than 20. She's always saying how young guys tell her how beautiful she is and older guys that say she looks 18. I mean what Is that. This has to be a mental problem. Remember YES I told her myself she is pretty and beautiful, so It's not like I wasn't excelling in that department.

So yeh what is it in a woman that drives them to be constantly negative no matter how much support and encouragement you give them to try new things. Get a job. Get some friends etc etc.

Four things in her life was so overpowering it was almost an obsession and that being:
- Her appearance
- Money
- Comparing herself to others.
- Always discussing negative stories about everyone and everything.

I truly believe my wife has split personality disorder. Yes she was diagnosed with depression and seeked help for a short time but when she bailed the other night she said "It's not depression, I just can't do this anymore, you deserve so much better then me etc etc"

Anyways all I can say is, just before I got married I can honestly say I thought she was the one, but I had a little niggly gut feeling that I should have acted on but I didn't, now I find myself in this situation.
Crazy world we live in hey.