12-29-2009, 03:55 PM
Join Date: May 2008
| | Re: AFFAIRS - Are they justified?
Are they justified? Depends upon which party you are asking.
To the cheater, of course it's justified. Only much later do they discover the difference between rationalizing and justifying.
The cheater will demonize their partner to rationalize the choice to cheat.
Or perhaps they are in a loveless, neglectful, or abusive marriage knowing their needs will never be met, and choose to cheat. This is still a rationale, not justification.
Quite honestly, I don't doubt for a moment that I would have pursued an affair had I chosen not to leave. I actually told my spouse this. As a result, she used that knowledge as her justification.
It's hard to justify an incredibly bad decision. Carrying on an affair by default means that you must adopt behavior that isn't justifiable. You become a shameless liar that uses your partner's trust as a weapon.