General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
So after a couple of weeks without arguing or nothing, we went outlast nite to a local bar
with my brother and his wife. My wife got mad because we caught her staring at a pregnant bartender lol and then i guess she felt
bad about t so her face changed and she was mad from there on.
When i told her we were leaving she just said bye and started walking
faster than me. I asked what was wrong and grabbed her by the arm. She turned
around and pushed me away. Walking to the car i told her this was the last
time i asked her to go out with me. She immediately thought i was talking about money
like me insinuating i spent money on food and beer on her. When she
said this i asked her to better look for someone like her mother's boyfriend
who spents lots of money on her and treats her like a damn queen when all
she does is treat him like ****. My wife went bananas and punched me in the face HARD,
then she gets in the car and does it again. Ended up punching me again and leaving a nasty nail
scratch on my cheek. Then asked to get out of the car and walk home. Thanks god i sucked it up
and got outta the car and staerted walking home. I didn't know i had the police behind me thru the whole time.
Anyways. When i got home i just went to sleep to my 4 year old daughter's room.
Then my wife came to the room crying asking for forgiveness. I told her that was it. That i'm leaving her.
We have been in a relationship for 6 years and have a 4 year old had many ups and downs but she never hitted me before. I should've called the damn cops and file a police report. Damn!
I need to leave her behind now, don't i? I was just sticking around for my daughter and trying to work things out but
now that the physical stuff started i'm pretty sure everything changes Posted via Mobile Device
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
I do not know what other problems you and your woman have, but I do not doubt there are many.
You have a 4 year old child at home yet you and her are at a bar having a fight and you get punched in the face twice by your woman.
You do not need to file a police report, yet, it is probably not too late depending on the law where you live, but you need to get yourself a lawyer.
This is both for sound legal council, to file a potential restraining order if necessary, but also to show your woman you are taking control of the situation.
Which is what it sounds like you need to be doing in many other areas.
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
^^ my mother was babysitting my 4 year old till next morning at her home.
Nothing wrong with 2 adults trying to go out and have a couple of drinks in my opinion Posted via Mobile Device
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
Make your wife start therapy for the punching you in the face immediately or tell her you will separate. She could lose her temper and punch or hit your daughter with something next. You need to go to couples counseling too.
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
It couldn't have just been because you saw her checking out a pregnant girl. Were you making an a** out of yourself? Were you being mean to her so you could come off as "cool" to others? Either way, violence is not okay so definately get counseling for that. But I do think there is more than you are telling us about the time out.
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
I agree with DawnD. Why would your wife be embarrassed to be caught looking at a pregnant woman? So what.... has to be more to that story. And I also agree that it doesn't excuse the violence. It sounds like you both need counseling regardless of the fact that you might or might not stay together. We are all here at this website for one reason or another and basically it's because we are all having/had marital issues. So don't be afraid to say how you feel here, you won't be judged for telling the whole story.
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
In the event you split up, you won't want your wife to have custody of any children. So you should definitely file a police report ASAP; that way it will be on file and can be entered into evidence for any eventual custody hearings.
She has to start therapy right now for anger management, or you should explore separating.
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
Quote:
Originally Posted by djguy13
I need to leave her behind now, don't i? I was just sticking around for my daughter and trying to work things out but
now that the physical stuff started i'm pretty sure everything changes Posted via Mobile Device
I would agree that everything changed when she got physical with you. Somehow, that seems to open a door for physcial violence, that it's okay now if she is really angry. I personally would not stick around for the next time unless she gets into some serious anger management. And not sure of the timing, but filing a police report would be a good idea.
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
What would have happened of the roles were reversed?
It does not get more serious than this. Whatever you decied you need to make sure this does not go unrecorded.
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
Ok I must add my two cents here as I had a very similar situation this past weekend with my H. I had become enraged and started hitting/pushing his arm. He pointed to his cheek and said go ahead hit me here. Which I would never do and didn't. Instead I slammed the door on him. My H and I are already separated. I was just so hurt and I did not know how to release the pain.
He went to the police station because apparently there is a scratch on his face. (maybe from my ring, I am not sure. It was not done intentionally.)
Needless to say, I ended up in handcuffs and almost was arrested for a felony. He states he just wanted to report it. I am guessing to build a case against me for custody. It was horrible. I however would never think of laying a hand on my children as I am not out of control. I was just very frustrated and hurt. I have been hoping and waiting for him to come back home for a year to no avail. I do not condone violence of any kind whether it is from a male or female. I think counseling would be the best for the two of you. You need to find out what triggered that reaction from your wife. I am sure she is sorry for she did. It was out of anger. Is this typical of her to be violent? Throwing things, hitting things? I know for myself I need to learn better self control and learn to stop and walk away. The problem was he was running away again and I was angered. Think twice before you file a report, once it is filed you have no control of the outcome. I am sure you do not the mother of your child in jail. I know I was completely wrong for my actions, however I will never forgive or forget what my H did to me.
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
Quote:
Originally Posted by Believe
Needless to say, I ended up in handcuffs and almost was arrested for a felony. He states he just wanted to report it.
Many people don't understand that when you call the police, they are going to do what police do. If there's been violence, and the police come, somebody is going to jail. But many people think you can call the police to break up a fight, and they'll make everyone play nice, and then they'll go back to the office. It doesn't work that way. A couple weeks ago some school principal called the cops because of a food fight, and a bunch of high school kids got arrested, and the principal said he didn't expect that to happen.
So it's entirely possible your H really didn't want you arrested, he just wanted it on file. In the event something bad happens, he wants a record somewhere. People sometimes just slap another person who then backs away and stumbles and gets really hurt. "I just slapped him" means nothing if he falls and breaks his leg as a result.
Quote:
I am sure you do not the mother of your child in jail. I know I was completely wrong for my actions, however I will never forgive or forget what my H did to me.
From what I see here, you should be more worried about apologizing than forgiving. Your situation calls for earning forgiveness, not bestowing it.
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
"From what I see here, you should be more worried about apologizing than forgiving. Your situation calls for earning forgiveness, not bestowing it. "
Ha! I certainly do not owe him an apology. If you read my post maybe you would understand. Why is that all you do is reply to other people's threads without any of your own?
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
DJGuy
Funny, I was with my abusive female for 6 years before I divorced her. Have a 3 year old. It wont stop, please leave for your child's sake. GET A LAWYER and whatever you do do not tell her you are divorcing, I made that mistake. She will run down to the nearest lawyer and file asap just to be first and make all kinds of false accusations against you that you are abusive and a rapist and a control freak or whatever. This is what abusive females do and it is encouraged.
I'm so excited that you didn't take her emotional abuse. This is how domestic violence always starts, emotional/controlling abuse first, then as a last resort, they start hitting and killing. In my case, the hitting started after 3 years of emotional abuse, emotional abuse continued until the 5th year when she pushed me and punched me several times and finally raised a hammer over her head threatening me.
Call the police, don't worry, nothing will happen to her because she is a woman. Women abusers are catered to and even encouraged. So call but do it to break the trend of men not tattling.
Of all reported and unreported cases of abuse, men make up half, probably more so since this society doesnt recognize it, not even the male victims recognize it. Even if the male recognizes their abuse, there's so much shame and ridicule involved that they will keep quiet, not to mention the victim blame game that EVERYONE plays..."you did something to deserve it" type thing.
Only reason I realized I was abused was thanks to a woman that witnessed it and showed me that I was no different than women victims. The fact that a woman helped me is the only reason why I'm not a misogynist now, although I do have a major trust issue.
Re: My wife punched me in the face for the first time
I'm pretty forgiving in the "everyone is entitled to one mistake" way, but physical violence is not a mistake--it is evidence of a total disregard for another person's rights. OP, please take action to protect yourself any your child. Get counseling--this abuse did not come out of no where and you need help figuring out why you are with someone like that.
My wife punched me in the face for the first time 
