gmailgirl

I am re-posting this -

I would like to start a discussion about men/women who have been sexually violated during childhood/teens. How they dealt with it emotionally and physically? Did it have any negative effect on their relationship/marriage and brain/behavior?

I read some books and there are two theories for brain dis-orders. One (Sigmund Freud) theory suggest that any sexual violation with a child/teen can result in mental illness, hyper sexuality; they try to relive the incident, bisexuality, domination etc. The other theory (Carl Jung) is even if people are not sexually violated the illness can be completely genetic and still have similar issues.

This discussion will give a chance for people to open up their personal feelings and desire - and to learn more and relate to people who have gone through such turmoil. How they dealt with it and how did it effect their relationship?

michzz

I think major university hospitals such as ucla can be useful for the modern info I mentioned:
http://www.uclahealth.org/body.cfm?xyzpdqabc=0&id=453&action=list&limit_clin icalspecialties=159

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LuckyCharmH

gmailGirl
the questions are back to you! has it happen to you? and what happen?

gmailgirl

Nothing happened to me but my cousin had first sexual encounter at 9. He had sex with both men and women and he is sure that he prefers men. He recently had epileptic attacks and has bipolar1. I am not sure if his hyper sexuality/bipolar/brain-disorder is completely genetic or due childhood experiences. However he was not abused, it was by choice. He is intelligent, scores 95% without any hard work and extremely curious about science and philosophy.

Deejo

Both my wife and my ex-fiance were victimized. Neither were violently raped in a singular event. They were both victimized over time by individuals they knew well, and trusted.

Without a doubt the events had substantial implications in their follow-up intimate relationships, their perception of sex, and emotional intimacy.

Neither woman presented as emotionally damaged. I didn't go looking for women to 'fix'. They were both extremely bright, confident, engaged and certainly seemed well adjusted. Neither were wall-flowers.

When it comes to issues of depression, bipolar disorder, etc. I don't know if abuse is identified as a causal factor, but if the individual already is predisposed to a disorder, and is then also the victim of sexual trauma, I can only imagine that can make things substantially worse. I can also see how having these conditions could lend themselves to misaligned perceptions of sex, either via skewed perceptions of earning love via promiscuity, or avoiding sex due to anxiety.

I actually asked myself if I was doing anything out of the ordinary to attract, or become attracted to women who had suffered some sexual trauma. Both women eventually developed tremendous anxiety about having sex. The anxiety and shutdown also corresponded with becoming engaged. Both women developed physical conditions further contributing to their aversion of having sex. Knowing that my desire to have sex would cause them physical pain further complicated the whole thing. So it actually got to the point where I questioned if there was something wrong with me.

It is emotionally demoralizing to know that one the greatest things you can share with your partner that is supposed to be associated with pleasure, and everything that is good about being in a relationship, can be turned on it's head and leave both partners fearful and frustrated.

I also tend to believe that the number of women that have been subjected to some form of sexual violation or trauma, is much higher, and more common than any of us would want to believe.

gmailgirl

I completely agree with you Deejo. My sister along with her many friends was victimized (not forcefully) by her school teacher. However she hid this fact from everyone and became extremely repulsive and negative abut life in general. Nobody in our family could understand why her attitude was so negative. However we have bipolar in our family gene tree; which gets worst with each generation (according to scientific research) I myself have bipolar 2 (mild) but now have a good understanding of it. With my sister the childhood sexual experience coupled with BP(mild) made it worst. She is now married with two kids but doesn't initiate sex with husband (he complains). She is a wonderful girl with great personality but childhood sexual experience leaves a huge scar on the innocent soul. Men/women should be severely punished who victimize innocent children.

My cousin now 15 in India is slightly epileptic, hypersexual, curious, experimental and extremely intelligent (people call him a little genius). He has Bipolar-1 disorder and he is on medication to control manic attacks. He has narcissistic personality (comes with the dis-order). He felt better after opening up to me. He loves fashion and dressing up like women. This is huge for his family - who are highly conservative and hate his guts. They want him to pursue a career in IT and get married and settled.

(reposting) I am trying to help him by listening to him but I am not a therapist and him being in India is going to be really tough for him. The society (his own parents) criticize him on daily basis; they call him weirdo- the culture is extremely orthodox. I am myself trying to understand what is going on? What should I tell him? How can I help him? He has tried therapy but its not helpful as his parents are forcing him to do something that he is biologically and psychologically not made for.

I read some books and there are two theories for brain dis-orders. One (Sigmund Freud) theory suggest that any sexual violation with a child/teen can result in mental illness, hyper sexuality; they try to relive the incident, bisexuality, domination etc. The other theory (Carl Jung) is even if people are not sexually violated the illness can be completely genetic and still have similar issues.