How do I become a good wife?
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Old 01-12-2010, 01:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default How do I become a good wife?

I am new here and, like everyone else, having a few problems in my marriage.
The difference is, I am the one at fault.
My DH is a good man. He is a wonderful provider and father.

Before anyone asks, we are not heading toward a divorce or anything like that. I just want and need to be a better wife and friend to my DH.

What I am asking is, from a man's point of view, what would you like to see your wife do to become a better wife?

I have read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Laura Schlessinger and have begun to implement some of those ideas.
But I thought it would be better to get a real life opinion on this.

TY!
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Old 01-12-2010, 02:52 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

need more information.

Why do you feel like you are a bad wife?
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Old 01-12-2010, 03:09 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

5 love languages is a good one also

Have you mapped his body? For real - do you know how to literally push him to the brink just by touching him? I have some other posts on how to do this - and he should also do it for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lifestinks View Post
I am new here and, like everyone else, having a few problems in my marriage.
The difference is, I am the one at fault.
My DH is a good man. He is a wonderful provider and father.

Before anyone asks, we are not heading toward a divorce or anything like that. I just want and need to be a better wife and friend to my DH.

What I am asking is, from a man's point of view, what would you like to see your wife do to become a better wife?

I have read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Laura Schlessinger and have begun to implement some of those ideas.
But I thought it would be better to get a real life opinion on this.

TY!
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Old 01-12-2010, 05:55 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

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Originally Posted by Just_Venting View Post
need more information.

Why do you feel like you are a bad wife?
I don't feel like a bad wife per say, just wanting to do things a little different. My hubby is a wonderful man, provider, and father. I want to give back to him the way he has given to me all of these years.
Our marriage isn't in trouble as far as him wanting to leave or anything. It's just we have been married for 12 years and we are in a rut. My resolution for 2010 is to become a better person. To become a better person, I need to start at home by becoming a better mother and wife.

It's just that I feel that my life stinks right now because of the rut we're in. Same thing day after day. If I change for the better, the ones around me will be affected and try to do better for themselves.

Thank you for asking
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Old 01-12-2010, 05:57 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

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Originally Posted by MEM11363 View Post
5 love languages is a good one also

Have you mapped his body? For real - do you know how to literally push him to the brink just by touching him? I have some other posts on how to do this - and he should also do it for you.
I will try to look up your other post about this. This sounds great.
I will also look into the 5 love languages as well.

Thank You!!!

Ok, I have looked thru this entire board for your other posts about the body mapping and I can not locate them.
If it's not too much to ask, would you post a link for me?

Thanks

Last edited by lifestinks; 01-12-2010 at 08:11 PM.
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Old 01-12-2010, 08:27 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

Well, if you know there are problems and they're your fault, maybe you should start with (1) fix whatever his complaints are, and (2) do more of whatever it is he likes.
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Old 01-12-2010, 08:56 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

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Well, if you know there are problems and they're your fault, maybe you should start with (1) fix whatever his complaints are, and (2) do more of whatever it is he likes.
The problem is we are in a rut. Same thing day in and day out.
It is my fault because, as a mother, I have to have a routine in place.

#1 - He has no complaints.
I do everything for him.
I work full time. I do all of the housework. I take care of the kids.
His dinner is waiting on him when he comes in after work. Our sex life is good.
The only thing he does around the house is mow the yard.
What's left that would he complain about?

#2 - See #1

I was just asking for opinions on what would make me a better wife. Not that I am a bad wife. I have just become a little boring.
The kids are getting older and I find that maybe if I would do something a little different, it might shake things up a bit.
Like if a man could put together the perfect wife, what would she do or how would she act? That kind of thing.
Because when I ask my hubby, all he says is that he is happy with me. So see, not very helpful.

Sorry if my question required too much thought from you.
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Old 01-12-2010, 08:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

If it is just being stuck in a rut, try finding something cool for you two to go do together as a couple. Get a sitter, go out and try something new together!!

Men usually appreciate freshly shaven legs and some nice lingerie!
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Old 01-12-2010, 09:19 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

I would maybe do self improvement. What I mean by that is get a new hobby - painting, or crafts, or something. Show him new dimensions to the woman he married. I think as wives and mothers we have a tendency to BE a wife and BE a mother - and we forget to BE ourselves. We loose that in the shuffle of taking care of everyone else. Make yourself more interesting and he'll show interested.
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Old 01-13-2010, 10:23 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

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I would maybe do self improvement. What I mean by that is get a new hobby - painting, or crafts, or something. Show him new dimensions to the woman he married. I think as wives and mothers we have a tendency to BE a wife and BE a mother - and we forget to BE ourselves. We loose that in the shuffle of taking care of everyone else. Make yourself more interesting and he'll show interested.
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Old 01-13-2010, 11:01 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

Is it that you're looking for a change, a little spice for yourself too? If so (and that's totally understandable), then self-improv is the way to go. Just make sure that he's a part of it too.

Was there something that you used to do b4 kids? Can you start a new hobby together? Is there a goal that you can work towards together? A project around the house (sometimes that can be just the thing to bond you and the family), a vacation, something like that?

And hey, spicing things up in the bedroom can do wonders for both of you
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Last edited by Alexandra; 01-23-2010 at 01:36 PM.
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Old 01-13-2010, 11:50 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

I can't really say what you can do because there are so many of us going thru the samething with our husbands.
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:28 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

I agree that improving yourself with hobbies, interests, knowledge is a good method especially if they are common to both of you. You already sound like a "good" wife. In the sex dept. (from a guy)...if you were implement this plan...plan a few outings with the Girls...exciting ones! I suspect he'll show interest and boom, there will be sexual energy that was not there before. Build on it.
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Old 01-13-2010, 01:50 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

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Originally Posted by lifestinks View Post
Like if a man could put together the perfect wife, what would she do or how would she act? That kind of thing.
I think the old adage is something to the effect that "A woman should be a chef in the kitchen, a lady in the living room, and a ***** in the bedroom." (I vaguely remember a version with "maid" in it somewhere.) So, if you're looking to improve as a wife, those would be the standard areas to aim at. Some sort of class and/or book might be in order. Get a gourmet cookbook, or memorize the complete works of Miss Manners, or type "sex" into the Amazon search box under "books". You might be able to take a gourmet cooking class at a local community college or something.

When my wife did that, we went together (the kids were old enough to be left alone), and now we cook together sometimes too. For Christmas dinner this year we made a rack of lamb that was, if the guests are to be believed, fantastic.
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Old 01-13-2010, 02:19 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: How do I become a good wife?

Seems like you need to mix things up a bit...life is boring when its the same thing day after day. I know when I am happy my DH is happy...are you happy? Another thing is in the bedroom..always a good place to spice it up and always seems to have the biggest impact. Try finding out anything new he'd like to try..get creative!
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