get rid of dog? - Talk About Marriage
General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

User Tag List

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-13-2010, 02:07 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 56
get rid of dog?

If your husband/wife hated the dog you have, (got after the relationship started fyi) (the dog truely is a good dog) and its starting to tear the relationship appart, what would you do??

Keep the dog or get rid of it?

Also IF you ended up getting rid of the dog (mostly likely will happen in my case) how would you feel towards that person??

letitgo is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-13-2010, 02:41 PM
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Indiana
Posts: 7,558
Re: get rid of dog?

If you allow a dog to tear your relationship apart, just how strong is your relationship?

And if a dog is causing this much trouble, just wait until you have disagreements about raising children.

If it was a joint decision to get the dog (you said done after together), and its a good dog, then keep the dog and work on your communication skills!
nice777guy is offline  
post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-13-2010, 03:37 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 198
Re: get rid of dog?

Have to agree with nice777guy:

1. Did you get the dog together, or did you bring it home one day?
2. Has he/she animal friendly in general?
3. Is the dog just a superficial problem for a much deeper issue?
4. Is keeping a dog really worth losing your marriage over?
5. Who does the bulk of work? It would cause some friction is he/she was stuck doing the bulk of the animal care.

Just some thoughts.
larniegrl is offline  
post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-13-2010, 04:25 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 56
Re: get rid of dog?

thanks for your replies!

I do all the animal care..

he is not an animal person at this is my fault, should have known not to get him but he said yes to keep me happy. Plus this is a large dog that is a velcro dog and my H cannot stand to be sniffed or licked

We already have a child and one on the way and things are fine with that its just animals and him beleiving they all belong outside and this breed cannot be outside due to its thin coat. plus dog should be left outside 24/7

When the dog is inside my H and I fight about him and how he needs to be outside and he makes it clear he hates him every day. So pretty much if the dog is inside he leaves...

Im planning on giving the dog to the breeder friday. Im doing this for my dogs sake. He is a pretty good dog, a bit protective of his bones and we have had a few growling issues (now only gets them in his crate and havent had an issues since) so my H has 0 trust in him and is on gaurd 24/7 waiting for him to attack our DD...this is no way to live for anyone. I know a few friends pump bad ideas into his head about the dog too.

I feel we have a good relationship, problems like anyone but we've made it thru raising a baby, crazy a** family, deaths, cheating(my fault..), Im learning to pick my battles and I seem to have lost the dog one..who knows maybe its my guilt thats making me throw in the towel but I cant keep fighting this one..specially when our next baby gets here.
letitgo is offline  
post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-13-2010, 04:33 PM
Blanca's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,024
Re: get rid of dog?

That's so sad. my H and i fight about the rules with our dog all the time. My H is like yours, wants her outside all the time, etc.

in your situation i can see that youd need to get rid of your dog. and if you can give him back to the breeder that will make it a little easier.

I was just curious though, do you have similar fights on dealing with your child?

"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
- Bryon Katie
Blanca is offline  
post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-13-2010, 04:39 PM
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Near Chicago
Posts: 3,278
Re: get rid of dog?

It's not all your fault. If he is so against having an animal in the house he should not have said yes. I am like your h, have no desire to have animals and for me I am very allergic so it's not possible anyway but even if I weren't I also don't like dogs sniffing/licking me. But I could not see myself saying yes if my h wanted a dog...thankfully, we both feel the same way about it.

So from my standpoint, I can easily say getting rid of the dog is the right decision, but I know for many their dog is part of the family.


No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.
Albert Einstein
swedish is offline  
post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-13-2010, 04:41 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 56
Re: get rid of dog?

we get a long pretty well when it comes to our child but shes still young so I think when teenager stage, dating starts, the big choices in life ages then we'll have our share of issues
letitgo is offline  
post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-13-2010, 04:50 PM
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Indiana
Posts: 7,558
Re: get rid of dog?

If you got it from a breeder, I'm guessing a good home can still be found for the dog. Plus with "one on the way" this is something you don't need to be dealing with.

Try again in 5 years, when the kids are old enough to help you convince your husband that being sniffed and licked ain't all that bad!
nice777guy is offline  
post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-13-2010, 05:49 PM
Believe's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 202
Re: get rid of dog?

hmmmm I am so torn with this one. I have 3 dogs, all rescues and they are my family. My H can't stand dogs either. He is no longer living at home and I am very thankful I have my dogs. They make me and the kids feel safe now that big strong daddy isn't there.
I say if you can find a great home for the dog then its not that bad. If you were thinking shelter I would have had a fit. Let us know what happens.
Good luck
Believe is offline  
post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-14-2010, 11:10 AM
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 141
Re: get rid of dog?

I'm definitely going to give my .02 on this one. I love all animals but am having an issue as well with my wife and the dog we got from the pound this last summer. The dog is a smaller size dog but is positively hyper active. It also chews and destroys everything when not supervised. It also has a thin coat so outside, even down here in the south, is not really an option during the winter months for any prolonged period of time. We have had fights about this same dog and it does put a wall up between us sometimes. We have a child on the way so I fear about this dogs behavior around a new born baby or a child for that matter. I have had to become the disciplinarian since we got it even though my wife does discipline as well. The problem is my deep voice and a stronger sting on the dogs butt from my swatting her had definitely gotten the dogs attention over my wife's softer voice and lighter spank (strength related basically). So if my wife disciplines the dog it will think absolutely nothing of the event, literally wags its tail jumping up and down from her discipline while if I do it the dog recognizes oh Cr*p I did something bad. The wife even at one point was going to get rid of the dog and I had to stop her because I know she would hold it against me just as I believe anyone likely would.

I have no idea what the perfect answer is. I have asked my wife to try and level off the descipline so we both are balanced in how we deal with the dog. However, I doubt I will ever see this dog behave like the other dog we have which is an exact opposite of this dog.

By the way, this dog has destroyed a ton of stuff. Chewed the base boards off in our bathroom. Pee'd everywhere in the house (though this problem is significantly less now), bent the diamond/mount on her wedding band over when the dog caught her tooth on it from jumping up and down with my wife, chewed through two new bedding sets, and on and on.

New Beginnings is offline  
post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-14-2010, 01:05 PM
Alexandra's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: West coast
Posts: 176
Re: get rid of dog?

It may seem a touch decision, but providing the dog with a happy home where EVERY PERSON wants him is the best for him.

It's also the best for your husband too, and in the end, you. As for how you'll feel afterwards, that has a lot to do with how open your communication is. Talk to him about why he isn't willing to bend in this way (aka really listen to him). Let him know how it makes you feel to give up a loving pet. But then, at the end of the day, understand that you are putting his needs first because you love him. It's your choice, not his. Be proud of yourself that you could set your feelings aside in this way and please your man.

But above all, keep talking about it. Don't let it fester.

Save your marriage & avoid divorce. If there is HOPE, there is a WAY -
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Last edited by Alexandra; 01-23-2010 at 01:35 PM.
Alexandra is offline  
post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-14-2010, 01:05 PM
Dryden's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 131
Re: get rid of dog?

NB, it sounds like you are in need of Cesar Milan!

It sounds like your dog could use a lot more exercise. Usually they wind up chewing/destroying things because they are bored. How often is it walked and for how long? Do you have a treadmill at home that you could teach it to walk on in lieu of long outside walks?
Dryden is offline  
post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-14-2010, 01:17 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Virginia
Posts: 2,618
Re: get rid of dog?

If your dog is showing any sign of aggression over food/bones, you are MUCH better off getting rid of it. Talk to an ER nurse or doctor about the # of dog bites on kids' faces they see, and how horrifying this is.

I'm a dog lover but had to choose between my dog and my kid--no contest. A toddler and a dog are just a bad mix UNLESS it is the kind of dog that LOVES to be jumped on, fallen on, etc. Any time a dog demonstrates aggression toward a human, however, you are looking at a serious disciplinary issue and one that will take time and energy you really don't have until your kids are grown more. Let go now, admit it was a mistake, communicate to your husband that you appreciate his willingness to give it a try and hope this failure won't prevent a future attempt at dog ownership when the kids are grown some.

Next time, get a hardier breed which can happily spend more time outside, to reduce tension. Keep the dog in when dh is out, and out when dh is in. While dogs love to be around people, it is not essential for their happiness to be close 24/7 (and remember how much and how easily they sleep!). Good luck.
sisters359 is offline  
post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 11-07-2016, 08:08 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 1
Re: get rid of dog?

I can't stand my wife's dog because I end up being the caregiver for it. I often ask her "who bought the dog?" She did obviously so she should care for it entirely. If I bought a huge fish tank I wouldn't expect her to clean it out and feed the fish. My purchase so my responsibility. Here is the bottom line is a dog worth destroying a marriage? Can a dog drive you to a hospital when your sick? Pay bills? Raise kids? No no and no. It's a dog not someone's grandparent! Save the marriage.
Posted via Mobile Device
Getoverit is offline  
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome