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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-20-2010, 07:30 PM Thread Starter
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Wife catches husband viewing porn on computer

This is a question directly primarily to wives but not limited to just wives. How would you react and feel to finding your husband viewing porn ('soft porn' if such exists) on his computer, while knowing at the same time that you and your husband has not had sexual relations for over 13 years and also during the same time frame has been the absence of physical touching of any kind. The husband has initiated hugs, spontaneous kisses but the wife has not responded or returned in kind. The husband has had not involvement of any kind with any other woman at any time during the marriage; there has been no physical abuse, no drugs or alcohol abuse. Both husband and wife carry responsibility for the condition; the husband is willing and wants to seek counseling but the wife does not.
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-20-2010, 07:57 PM
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Re: Wife catches husband viewing porn on computer

after thirteen years of no sex, i think there are bigger issues then if H is watching porn.

"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-20-2010, 08:01 PM
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Re: Wife catches husband viewing porn on computer

I am going to overshare here. 13 days is a LONG time to go without sex. 13 years isn't even tolerable to me. Honestly, I would expect the house to be stocked up with porn and lotion.

Is there an underlying issue with the whole not having sex thing??
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-20-2010, 09:46 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife catches husband viewing porn on computer

There are bigger or more critical and underlying issues that time and space in a forum like this does not allow to be shared. It is interesting to compare responses from a 'cross section' of other wives or women to the reaction of the wife who made the discovery which was critical and distancing.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-20-2010, 11:39 PM
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Re: Wife catches husband viewing porn on computer

After that many years without sex, I'd say that his wife was lucky that he was even at the house to catch....and that the wife should applaud that he still has sexual intrests...

But ya....that is too many years to not have physical intamacy....1 week goes by.....too long
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-21-2010, 09:47 AM
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Re: Wife catches husband viewing porn on computer

Last night my husband complained that we hadn't had sex in a while - it had been 3 days!

13 years. . . omg. If my husband and I didn't have sex for that long and I caught him watching porn I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, come on! Who could blame the guy?
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-21-2010, 10:05 AM
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Re: Wife catches husband viewing porn on computer

Yes, lucky that there was no extramarital cheating after 13 years without sex in the marriage... My ex husband and I went 3 years without and wrote up an open marriage, legally bound contract so we could have it with others...

Is the wife cheating? She doesnt seem to want to fix the no sex problem AT ALL!
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-23-2010, 04:39 AM
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Re: Wife catches husband viewing porn on computer

I know my husband watched porn and I am okay with it because I know that it will always take the backburner to me when I am available. I am always his first choice.

That being said, 13 years is ridiculous and she can't expect him to just turn off his sex drive and never have it again. It's unreasonable.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 01-23-2010, 05:48 AM
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Re: Wife catches husband viewing porn on computer

Oy 13 years no sex, hugs, kisses????? That's emotional abuse. Run.
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