 Don't know what to do anymore...
I really don't know what to do anymore. I am beyond stress and I feel like I am the only one running the family lately. My husband and I are both full time students and we have a toddler who is two and trying at times. I work 30 hours or more at two different jobs and work weekends. My husband works as an Resident assistant at jardine which he only works 5 hours a week. I clean the house during the week and by time the weekend is here my toddler and husband stay home. When I come home it is completely trashed! I gave up cleaning for two weeks to see if my husband would clean anything and he did not. Two weeks worth of dishes were in the sink, food in the living room, clothes everywhere, it was gross! When I come home new messes are every where! I feel like my husband just lets out two year run around and do whatever she wants! When I am at work I feel as if all jeremy, my husband does it sit on the couch, watch tv play xbox or play on his computer. when i get home he complains that the house is a mess and we need to do something.... but he never lifts a finger! Maggie, our two year old wasn't planned. My husband and I had been dating off and on since freshman year of high school and become serious our senior year. thats when he bought me a promise ring. our freshman year of college we became engaged and later found out we were expecting... however when we became engaged our relationship was very rocky. my new computer kept crashing and i didn't understand why and our cell phone bill was off the charts. i worked a lot and he did not... after i became pregnant and had some complications i wasnt able to work so I was home more often. i found out that my computer was a porn hub and jeremy had been calling a old girl friend in canada! and found love letter written back and forth to each other in his email! i still haven't forgiven him for that and its been almost three years. i didn't leave him because i had no where to go. my parents didn't know i was pregnant and if they did they wouldn't help me. i wasn't able to work and i was only 19. many nights i cried myself to sleep afraid of the next day. jeremy was not nice, and became angry and abusive of the next couple months. he threw things at me, shoved me and yelled at me. when our parents finally found out we were expecting he slowly grew better, but still said hurtfull things. when maggie was born, I was afraid of what the future was to bring. in may of 2008 jeremy got a job offer to be a resident assist at jardine, which paid of our housing, electric, water and we both would get 20 meals at week at the dining center. however in order for us to live at jardine we had to be married... so we got married at the courthouse and it was lousy. jeremy didn't say anything nice to me all day.
every since then he complains and says he never should have got married and that he should have done things differently. he talks about how he should have left me before we got pregnant, and says i purposely became pregnant. he says awful things about maggie. we went to the pool the other day and he kept saying he was going to let her drowned in the pool or push her into a car. he has no patience for her and shrugs her off. he kept insisting that she is fake coughing and having a fever two weeks ago when he wanted to drop her off at daycare.
today maggie and i woke up at 8am and he slept in till 1230 because he was up till 3am playing xbox. he got up and yelled at me for the house being a mess and how things never change. i yelled back saying well maybe if u you help around here the house wouldn't look this way. i called him a fat lazy slop and he threw his ring at me. he throws his ring off once a week, at least. he also went on complaining how maggie and i screwed up his life and he will never be able to do what he wants to do because we are here. He talks about himself a lot, and never asks how I am doing or what I need to do or anything like that. It is always about him...
I just don't know if I can take this anymore! I can't sleep at night and I am afraid to go to work because I don't know what he is doing and if Maggie is doing okay. I just don't know what to do and talking to him makes him mad and storm off...
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