Re: Children sleeping in same bed as mom and dad!
Bed sharing in infancy has very clear benefit to babies when done properly. I have watched and read multiple studies of infants heart rates stabilizing and breathings rates stabilizing. There is some sort of chemical reaction that takes place when baby is close enough to smell mom and their bodies go in sync. There are strict parameters to keep them safe, but as a mother of an infant in the NICU, I know that the only time his heart and breathing monitors did not go off was when he was in my arms. We left the hospital bed sharing. Our next child started in our bed from the get go, with a cosleeper right next to the bed for those times I just needed space. It aides in continuation of breastfeeding as well. The AAP does not even recommend them leaving the same room as the mother until six months old.
Now, children sleeping in bed with parents, I do not find a problem with. Heck, in college I had a nightmare once when home on break and climbed in bed with my dad. I knew the dream was not real but it really shook me up and I did not want to be alone.
The problem starts when parents kick the kiddos out of their bed and climb in bed with them under the impression of "getting them to sleep in their own beds". Laying down with them fine until they do sleep, but in my situation, he never came back to our bed and there never was a chance to communicate after that. I'd beg for him to let them sleep on their own. Heck, I even had a routine that was working to get them to sleep alone for at least part of the night. I just wanted our evenings for us at that point (they were preschool age by this point), but he never came back.
He has left me now for another woman. Perhaps it was my first clue that I ignored.