Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?
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Old 08-23-2013, 01:16 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

My husband of five years left me. We have two kids. He just says he doesn't love me any more. and he left a few weeks ago, and has been staying with a friend. He says he is very sure he wants the divorce and his mind is made up. I am so heart broken and sad. I can't stand the pain. i love him so much. but he doesn't love me. Any way, my question is. even tho he is decided that he wants the divorce, he told me that he wants to have sex and be with me one last time. He said its not going to change any thing, but he wants too. He has a date set up in one week, we are gonna get a hotel room. I'm sure i'm making a mistake. obviously i still love him and i will just get hurt in the end. but just to be close to him i will probably do it. Why is he doing this tho. Is he completely just using me for sex? or is there still some feelings/attraction there that he doesn't realize himself? could he still love me deep down, or is it really just about the sex? i'm confused. Is there a chance he may change his mind down the road and want me back.? or the fact that he says he is 100 % sure a divorce is what he wants, means there is no chance of him having a change of heart?
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Old 08-23-2013, 03:00 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

The man you describe?? You'd be foolish to lay there and let him have you one last time.

He'd totally be using you for sex...would that be okay with you?

Telling him if he wants to fawk something, go fawk himself. Girl, you deserve more than that!!

Have a backbone and don't let him do this to you. Tell him you're moving on, he left you so you don't need him anymore. Pull a 180 and concentrate on YOU!

Don't give in to that crap...he's just a selfish user.
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Old 08-23-2013, 03:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

He's using you for sex. What he's asking is pretty sick actually. He knows you love him still, but he wants to use you like an object. I fear that he has a deep seated hate/anger towards you and this is his way to inflict deep hurt on you.

Please, before you put yourself through this, sit down in a quiet room, close your eyes and live through his sex session... with a man who wants to use you. Feel the way you will feel when you are there, vulnerable, and realize that you may as well be a blow up doll for all he feels for you.

Seriously, do not do this to yourself.
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Old 08-23-2013, 03:19 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

Because he can't find another woman who's willing to have sex with him ?
Because he thinks he's a playa ,looking for a " friends with benefits ?"
Or maybe he suffering from " delusions of grandeur."
He sounds like a selfish looser who actually thinks he's somebody.
I really can't see why you love this guy, obviously he has no respect for you.
Love yourself , woman.
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:02 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

It's a ghastly idea and I would not go along with it if I were you.

If there is any chance of him getting feelings back for you it is more likely to be if you respect yourself and say "no" rather than being a doormat.
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:14 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

Please don't do this. He is just trying to get a nut and stroke his ego at the same time. Don't you give him that satisfaction girl!
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:37 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

If you agree to this then you are basically telling him you think so little of yourself that you are willing to be used like a sex object.

Why would he love someone who has so little respect for themselves?

You don't get someone to love you by spreading your legs! This is insane.
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:48 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

Don't do this. The only thing a doormat gets is walked on.

Tell him to get bent and you have a date.

Never mind it might be with your hairdresser.....

Last edited by LonelyinLove; 08-23-2013 at 07:38 AM.
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Old 08-23-2013, 07:04 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

What does it matter what he wants? There's no way I would even contemplate sharing my body with a man who told me he didn't love me and wanted a divorce. I have far too much self-respect for that...

I'm sorry for your pain, OP, but it's time to act with dignity and redirect the love that you have for your H towards yourself.
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Old 08-23-2013, 07:21 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

Stay away from him, far away. You don't want the same things. He wants sex, not you. But you want him and you are willing to give him sex for it.
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Old 08-23-2013, 07:49 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

OH MY GOD what an ass!!!

I hope you let him rot in that hotel.

Who leaves their wife and then has the balls to say I want to use you one more time?
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Old 08-23-2013, 07:55 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bluecupcake24 View Post
My husband of five years left me. We have two kids. He just says he doesn't love me any more. and he left a few weeks ago, and has been staying with a friend. He says he is very sure he wants the divorce and his mind is made up. I am so heart broken and sad. I can't stand the pain. i love him so much. but he doesn't love me. Any way, my question is. even tho he is decided that he wants the divorce, he told me that he wants to have sex and be with me one last time. He said its not going to change any thing, but he wants too. He has a date set up in one week, we are gonna get a hotel room. I'm sure i'm making a mistake. obviously i still love him and i will just get hurt in the end. but just to be close to him i will probably do it. Why is he doing this tho. Is he completely just using me for sex? or is there still some feelings/attraction there that he doesn't realize himself? could he still love me deep down, or is it really just about the sex? i'm confused. Is there a chance he may change his mind down the road and want me back.? or the fact that he says he is 100 % sure a divorce is what he wants, means there is no chance of him having a change of heart?
There might be a chance if (a) he still loves you and (b) he gets a "reality check" on the meaning of the word "divorce". That won't happen if you comply with his request to have sex with him while separated. If you do, he will know that he can still have the benefits of marriage without the commitment. Do you see that?

As others here have pointed out, you need to look out for yourself and have respect for yourself, which means that you should not give him any "benefits" of the marriage without the commitment.

Why does he want this to happen? Because he wants sex. It really isn't about love this time, so don't do it. Show him what "divorce" really means in that, on his request, the marriage is truly over. Maybe he will rethink his feelings, maybe he won't, but you now hold that card over him. Play it well.
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Old 08-23-2013, 08:23 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

You not the first person even on TAM to be a booty call to your separated spouse. But you the first that I have heard of who spouse come right out and say its a booty call, say it won't mean anything and meet you at a hotel like a damn prostitute.

You know you better than that.
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Old 08-23-2013, 08:31 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

Keep the date, just don't show up. Go to a club or somewhere and start looking.

When he texts you, tell him you forgot about him and you have a date.

Of course he will say something like he wanted to get back together but you ruined it. They like to put it on the faithful spouse no matter what happens.

Do you want being used in a hotel to be the last memory you have of your marriage? Didn't think so.
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Old 08-23-2013, 08:37 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my separated Husband want to have sex with me one last time?

Please do not go through with this! He is using your emotions against you. Do not even try to second guess what he is trying to do here! He is the one that wants the divorce. Give him what he wants, but its business, and its going to cost him. YOu have the rest of your life, your children to look out for. Then in time, maybe, the right man to love, and cherish you. After only 5 years he wants this! Have you talked with an attorney as to securing your rights for yourself and your children? If not, do it now!
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