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My best friend

962 views 1 reply 2 participants last post by  63Vino 
#1 ·
I became friends with my wife about 16 years ago, started dating about 14 years ago and married 8 years ago. we took a dip in our relationship last year that resulted in us sleeping in different bedrooms. Neither of us slept with someone else, but things were said that you just can't take back. She seems madly in love with me but I question how much of that is her age and being scared of being alone. I love her but have lost that feeling of in love. My wife is 16 years older than me. I have also made the realization that at the age of 36, I regret not having children of my own. I love my two step daughters, but there is something missing and I realized it when one of them had children of their own and I became a papa. We've returned to the same bedroom but everything feels different for me. I don't know how to mend what's missing. I also have thought about leaving but am scared to be alone, starting over, not getting what I'm urning for and in the process lose the best friend I've ever had. Looking to see if anyone has advice or can offer me a different view??
 
#2 ·
Lots going on there.

1. You dont need to "take back what was said" Forgive it and forget it. Both Sides.
2. The not having kids thing thats totally your decision just be DAMN sure you know what you're doing and have your head on straight because you commited to your life with W knowing that's the case. Its ok if you change your mind just dont do it with influence of other things.. Meaning dont allow the kid thing to have more weight because you're not feeling great about the relationship.

Do you guys talk about these issues? I mean the love part and the feelings. You should be. Maybe there is a way to get it back, You seem a little like you're not sure if you want to.

Sometimes that just happens, paths diverge. But you should really decide what you really want first and then go 100% in that direction.
I would hope you'd realize that the woman you married is still there, and you guys want to recover,rekindle everything.

But if you really want to go in a different direction, get the balls to really work with her and make it the best you can. Be honest.
In fact above everything else, calmly talking about the TRUTH may byitself begin to create a direction that you both can be happy with.

all the best.
 
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