ok here goes im here for some advice, i would ask friends and family but i prefer them not to know much about my private life with my h ,
I've only been married for a little under 3 months been together for 15 months,
it was recently brought to my attention that mh aparently was making his ex (mother of his kids) believe that he was just taking a break from (their) relationship, and she aparently was still sleeping with him and the only time she found out about me was on their court day for the custody and child support she found out he got married..aparently this drove her a little crazy (i can imagine) all awhile he was planning our wedding asking me to get my tubes untied (which i did) stayingng at my place.
now here is a few odd things that make me believe this could be true.
1. he never made a phone call to her infront of me nor would he answer a call from her infront of me.
2.his clothes were left there.
3.he never worked on fridays/ but aparently had to one time
so this caught my attention i went to bring him a coffee at work and his van wasnt there i started texting him not saying i knew he wasnt there but he caught on i knew with my questions which was silly on my part because he had time to get back to work and fool me if he wanted to i called his work and was told he didnt work that day ... so i tried calling his cell and didnt get an answer 3x then he called me back and somehow it got disconnected..he called me back a few minutes later i said where are u he said at work i said thats funny the person who answered the phone said your not working today he said i am i said well you know as much as this hurts me im gonna call your work right now and i hope your the one who answers the phone and he did but i know he wasnt there because he said he was coming home right then.
2 months after he moved in with me i found out he had most of his clothes there, so i got pissed and he went to get his stuff and see his kids, i figured he had gotten all his stuff but 2 months after that he told me she called and needed him to go sign some papers so she could get some finacial help i said well i should come with you he said no and of course this started a fight there are many reasons for this fight and if you must know you can ask and i will share with you, i wanted to tell him to go and not come back but instead the argument moved over to the fact that he had no personal things at my place and we were to marry the following month , he said he'd pick up all his stuff ...I'm gonna say that i felt a huge change happen after he signed those papers and i will list them.
1. she sent him the court papers
2. any messages from her were no longer civil she was angry
3. all of a sudden he gave his older kids (not her kids) our house number
anyhow i asked him if in fact he was hiding me from her and told him what was brought to my attention (which i have asked him many of times before we got married) he made me feel stupid for accusing him. his response was not that he was hiding me but he never shared his personal life with her and no he did not make her believe he may come home ... and he was not sleeping with her.
the advice i need now is there's only one other person who can answer these questions 100%
I'm scared to find out he's been lying to me because then it would mean our whole relationship is based on lies ...and if she says they were sleeping together i will fall apart but i cannot just sit and wonder i feel its distroying me bit by bit
i wanna call her but dont know if that would be crossing a line.