GAsoccerman

Ok, so going through life usually there are events that have shaped you into the person you are today, either it be an event, a person, or a series of things.

OK Here we go...

When I was in High School, I dated this beatiful blonde girl named Corinne, she was great, alot of fun, I really enjoyed her as a person.

Now she was a Nympho, I mean that honestly, we would come home from School to her house and have sex daily, 4-5 times a day until I went home, I was after all a teenage boy and she was willing. I ahd a close group of friends, about 8 of us hung out together, including my best friend. Of course back then I was a jealous lad, she would go to girls hosues and I would check on her, be worried about any guys there, etc. Well after 1 1/2 to 2 years of dating, I got bored and wanted to move on with life, So I broke it off with her. One of the guys in our group asked me if he could start dating her, I was like sure no problem with me, after all mentally I was done. So they started dating.

Now while there dating, I found out my Best friend was having sex with Corinne, but as to man "code" I said nothing to our other friend, plus it would look like I was jealous or something.

So now we fast forward 5 years, my friend and I decide to drive across country from NYC to LA, While we were in LA over a few beers, my best friend decides to come clean with me, He say's GA I was screwing Corinne the whole time you were dating her in HS...now this if 5 years later well over her, So I was like, "damn man that sucks" not really mad, wasn't going to Sock him one, but to myself, that moment in time, our friendship ended. I lost all trust for the boy, there were other reasons as well, but this was the clincher for me. I didn't get mad or loud or even say anything, I was just like well that is a bummer to be fooled by your best friend for years?? damn that hurts. A friend ship that was forged since 1st grade.....Poof gone.

There is more to way the friendship dissolved, But what this relationship passed onto me is that no matter how much worrying you can do, how much "checkin in on" you do, that it is always possible for that person to go elsewhere for what ever reason, that it is up to THEM, not me.

So now that brings me to me and my wife, where I am the total opposite, I never check in on her, she can do what ever (I was dating her during the California trip, those two did not get along, I guess she saw through his BS) My wife built up a very solid trusting relationship over the years.

I always told her, hey if you do not want to be with me, or if you are going to sleep with someone else, just tell me and we will figure it out, just do not go behind my back for X amount of time and let me find out some other way, because it will come out someday some way, and I will do the same for her.

So far no need for that. (never say never though, right?)

But that relationship has shaped me in a way where I can not get jealous anymore, I know some people would ahve the counter effect, but I just said, I can not sit here and worry about what my wife is doing, I just can't do it, it will drive me mad. So I went the opposite route, I built it on trust and respect, and understanding.

I know guys will hit on my wife, she will flirt, she will drool over Brad Pitt, Patrick Dempsey and she can freely express that, Just like I can drool over Heather Locklear.

SO I thank my friend for Freeing me from the green monster of jealousy, as well as my wife, who has never given me a reason to doubt her in 7 years of dating, plus 11 years of marriage, and I have seen numerous men hit on her, kudo's to you women, it must be tough.

But I know the my old BF is having a miserable life, now married, having all kinds of relatinship issues, because he has been cheating on his wife for years, thinks his wife is cheating, etc. I learn from Mutual friends.

Life has a ton of lessons, the question is, what have you learned from it?

Tell me your story

Mark

My wife and I have been married over 25 years. I have always trusted her
and she has given me no reason not to, until recently. She had an emotional
affair, told a few lies ect. At first I lost all trust, started to think she has
probably been lying to me for years. I started to be real suspicious of her, checking
her cell phone, e-mail, PC history you know the deal…

All this was making matter so much worse, we were heading for a bad place.
then I said to myself one day, why am I doing this… I sat her down and told her
I wasn't going to check up on her any more, she deserves the benefit of the doubt
of being together for all these years. I have been true to my word, haven't looked at a thing since.

I feel better about myself, we haven't had a disagreement since and things are going great.
I don't know how any relationship can survive with out unconditional trust.