How do I find the strength to leave?
Well again it has been a while since I have been here for support. I was fooled into thinking that things in our marriage were getting better and let myself go again and now am left feeling hurt and so confused all over again.
We have continue our counselling sessions and I have felt like things were getting better but the last few days have proved that to be all wrong.
Over the last few months he has found some new friends that he has been hanging out with. A couple of weeks ago a girl that was somehow connected to the group went along when he went out to hang out. Ever since then she has been contacting him non stop (she is 22 mind you!) and saying she just needs a friend, that she broke up with her boyfriend etc. She has tried to make contact with me to hang out and go for a drink because she claims "she has no one". Well I was nice to her, let her come out with me, let her stay the night on my couch because she lived so far away. The following night, she starts text messaging my husband some very attention seeking unnecessary messages, and I was furious. That was after one of her friends had told her she was acting inappropriate towards my husband and needs to stop so she messaged me to appologise for it. So the following day she decides to tell my husband that they can no longer be friends, which he told her he was happy about because he didnt need this drama in his life and he didnt need someone that was going to come between us. The whole weekend was very emotionally draining for me despite feeling like we had resolved something together.
Last night at our counselling session I was telling the counsellor about the situation and a very emotional way and he got so frustrated and angry that he actually stormed out of our session. He went straight back to his old ways of avoiding the conflict and feeling like I was blaming him and therefore got defensive. After that he proceeded not to respond to any of my messages or phone calls asking if he was coming home. Where is the respect? We have been talking for months in our counselling about how we deal with conflict and how we need to deal with it better, and then this happens all over again.
I am not in a healthy relationship, he is disrespecting me, he isnt trying to make this work and he is behaving like a 22 year old single guy not someone that is 28 and married because he chose to be. I dont think he knew what he was getting himself into when he proposed and now he is blaming be "unhappy" on this situation.
I know I need to get out of this, I know he isnt treating me right, but I cant seem to find the strength to leave!
PLEASE HELP ME!!!