Kristina1

Hey everyone I was wondering how I should handle this and what I should say to my husband. Hes very hard to talk to so I was thinking of sending an email. This is the deal and please any advice would be great.

My husband and I just had a baby 2 months ago. He works with blind and deaf people so his job needs him to sleep there 3 nights outta the week just incase a fire or soemthing he can help out. His hours are 4pm-12, and is scheduled to sleep in on thurdays, fridays and saturdays. He starts his work week on wedn at 4pm and has been sleeping there wed nights ( saying he is working overtime) so wed night he sleeps there, thursday he sleeps there friday he sleeps there, and saturday he sleeps there. He works an hour away, like i said before his shift doesnt start til 4pm. So he stays at work wed- sunday morning. My hole thing is since he doesnt work until 4pm everyday then thursday morning wake up 9am and get back home by 10am help out with the baby and spend time with him. And again Thursday night sleep at work and then wake up Friday morning and get back home to spend time with your son . Instead he leaves wed afternoon and doesnt come home until Sunday morning. I told him I wanted him to come home, he said he doesnt want to waste gas so he will stay at work. So he pretty much sleeps the days away until he works at 4pm. Let me rewind back alittle bit he has a 3 yrs old from a previous relationship he use to get his son everyday in the morning until he left for work. He stopped getting him everyday because he started school. But my point is no matter what if he slept at work he would come back by morning time to pick up his son, and spend time with his son. Why isnt he doing that with our son, why isnt he wanting to spend time with him and help me out a bit. Why would he want to stay away from us wed- sunday. That to me is insane, messed up and selfish. He made comments to me that its my job to take care of him and do all the work with him because he has the job and is putting food on the table. Which is great i love him for that, but, I feel he should come home to be with his son, and help out. He has 3 days off sunday, monday, tuesday, on those days he gets his 3 yr old and has him at our house sleeping over those days, he is so busy with his 3 yr old he barely helps me out with the baby. SO i never get a break or any help. Am I overreacting? How do I handle this? How can I write to him nicely Im not happy about this. Oh and anytime he is home on his days off... and I ask him to change the baby, he says why do I always have to do it, I said I always do it, he says yeah because I put food on the table and work.... I get that he works and thats why I do all the work with the baby, but I dont think thats a reason for him to NEVER help!

turnera

How far away is his job?

What are you like when he is around? Are you upbeat, hopeful, happy to see him, loving? Or are you angry, resentful, too tired to you know what, and snarky? In other words, is it pleasant for him to be at home with you?