Boring Wife ! Women please help me here.
This is my first post, so please excuse me if I'm not doing this correctly. I am looking for ANY advice from the women out there that might be able to help steer me in the right direction as to getting my wife back that I knew several, several years ago.
Quick background first, my wife and I have been married for 16 years, we have two (beautiful) children 8 and 3. We both work fulltime and participate in alot of activities that involve the children. My wife is much better than good looking and does not lack in the dept. of being naturally attractive. We dont get out much and always find stuff to do around (whether in or outside) the house. We both are avid runners and love to workout whenever we can. My wife currently takes birth control.
Okay, heres my dilemna . . . my wife has no spontanaity, she lacks any sex drive, and when I do beg for it, she will typically give in every other week. When we are together, its the same ol' place, the same ol' time and the same ol' routine. When we are together she does'nt say anything, she does'nt move, she does not show any interest as to why she is even with me. More importantly, and this might sound a little odd, but I'm really affected by how she does'nt even do the little things that I believe all healthy relationships do, and thats the simple whisper in the ear when standing together in line at the grocery store ( " I love you honey " ) or a quick rub of the back when watching one of the kids singing at the school. Or even better yet, how bout not wearing any panties when going out to dinner with me, and giving me a quick flash right after the waiter serves us our glasses of wine ? Dont get me wrong, I love my wife with all my heart, and I KNOW she loves me the same way, its just that I need to find a way to get her out of her shell. Is she cheating on me? No way. She neither has the time to get away or the resources to do so, so I'm not worried about that. We used to crazy things BEFORE KIDS, but ever since have dropped off dramatically. There are even times when we are driving in the car, and I place my hand on her leg, and she picks my hand and removes it from her leg. We went from being together 50 times a year down to 26 times a year. We used to wake up in the middle of our sleep going at it with one another, to having to set 5 minutes aside before the kids wake up on the weekends now. She doesnt like giving or recieving oral and won't use the toys she bought from several years ago. ( I wonder if they still work ? lol ) She always usses the excuse that I dont help around the house as much AS SHE WANTS ME TO, ( I do plenty, I help with the laundry, I do ALL THE DISHES ALL THE TIME I shop for groceries quite often, and clean the bathrooms periodically. ) I feel that she does not give herself the time she deserves for herself quite often. I bring this matter up and she always tells me to mind my own business. I feel that if she doesnt stress herself out on several other matters ( money, kids, work . . ) that she might be able to find a way to break out of this shell.
Please give any input you might feel help us get out of our rutt.
Once again, things are good between us . . . I just want them SUPER !
Thanks for all your help in adavance.