I enjoyed reading this.
The answers are in the very story.
I will tell you as bluntly as possible. PLEASE DON'T TAKE OFFENSE TO MY REPLY I AM SIMPLY GIVING IT TO YOU STRAIGHT...like a man would except I am a female.
Her life is NOT what she wants it to be:
Her life is NOT fun
She has replaced fun with responsibility and spontaneity with obligation:
She doesn't make time for things she likes to do because there is no real point to it, life sucks or it is super dull
She sounds a little depressed because her life likely turned out NOTHING like she planned it to be:
She has no desire for sex and low libido probably because of the pills and because you or life in general don't arouse her enough:
(SHE NEEDS A RESET BUTTON)
as you explained this which is your life, I got bored and tired (I put myself in her shoes)
IF she doesn't wanna go down on you it's because she lost desire for you in that area. There is nothing better than pleasing a man one desires, honestly....Make sure you smell good, and clean up well, a lot of men don't clean up well - knock her fkn socks off by doing some new things with her. She needs to snap out of this or she needs to hear it is all coming to an end...it is probably the only fix. Tell her to try a new birth control because those things mess with a female's moods.
Oh- and when you do get to have sex...please make sure it is worth it to her...don't be boring, all women like being treated a little on the wild side in bed...unless she has had trauma then don't be too wild.
Change up those routines a bit, I get you have kids but damn she is a breathing person still not just a mom and you should not be just a dad either...
liven things up by going to a bar, pretend you just met, rent a room, go wild n crazy, pretend you had a one night stand...just have fun.
OK hope this helps