midlife crisis and ocpd (obsessive compulsive personality disorder)
What do you get when you cross a female with obsessive compulsive personality disorder going through a midlife crisis? A personality that is the equivalent of a Molotov ****tail. From my perspective, my beloved wife is experiencing this right now, and all aspects of our family life are affected. We have three wonderful boys, we're married 17 almost 18 years, and she has made many of those midlife changes that come as result of her having turned 40 this past July: cut her hair to less than shoulder length to look younger (first time she cut it since I know her), lost 15 pounds in 10 days!, wanted to donate a kidney because if you save a life you save the world, goes to the gym now three times a week, has completely cut me off emotionally, and has ceased communication, is constantly irritable and agitated over every little matter, frequent references to her age has told me that she loves me but is not in love with me, has told me that she does not want me to control her and wants her own freedom.
If anyone out there can offer a glimmer of hope given the intersection of what appears to be clear "sonic boom" female midlife crisis only intensified by her obsessive compulsive personality disorder of wanting everything to be perfect and nobody can live up to her impossibly high standards, I would be most grateful.
I love her, I do not want to divorce her, I do not think she wants to divorce me, she has said she is miserable and will be miserable for the rest of her life. Unfortunately she cannot let go of whatever issues or problems we have had over the last 17 years. I have made changes and will continue to do so in order to improve our relationship, however she is not invested right now and wanting to commit to our future.
Any insights on how to best cope and deal, and how long such a crisis can last given the peculiarities of the obsessive compulsive nature I would be most appreciative.
Last edited by douglas; 03-02-2010 at 08:21 AM.