mrs.elle

My husband is in the military, he is so kind, he easily pities everyone. Here is my story.. My husband has helped a lot times already when he was still single, he even got a lot credit bills from helping others and until now he's still not yet finished paying for it. but now that we're married I want him to prioritize our marriage first and start saving money because we are already planning on having a baby soon. I have nothing against that my husband sends monthly allowance to his parents because every child is obliged to help their parents financially when the child gets older. but his parents, specifically his mom is too much already. She always makes drama that their money is not enough etc. so my husband pitied her again and now he increased the allowance that he is giving to his parents. By the way his parents have both jobs, his mother receives her pension already and he has two other siblings who also have jobs. I'm a little bothered because they always ask money from him when they already get enough money, they don't pay for their apartment rent so that means they get to save a thousand dollar every month and my husband is not their only son, they also have two more children who live with them and both have jobs. When my husband and I weren't married yet, he spent all his money for his parents and got a lot of credit bills because he paid for their plane tickets every time they travel to their hometown which is from the other country. Now that we are married, do I have the right to control my husband when he's giving too much money to his parents? Do I have the right to ask my husband to give me monthly allowance even if I can freely use my debit card? I want to ask allowance from him but I'm a little shy but I realized he gives allowance to his parents and why can't I get my own allowance too? I hope someone can give me advice on my problem. Thank you

scarletblue

I don't really get this. I have 4 children, 2 of which are old enough to be living on their own. I can't imagine asking them for money. I want them to have happy, successful lives on their own. It must be a culture thing.

You and your husband are a family unto itself at this point, children or not. It is not his money or your money now, it is both of yours. If you have free access to the money, I don't see a point in asking for an allowance. You don't need to be competing with his parents.

I suggest talking about this with your husband first, and then him telling his parents that you're going to start saving to have a child, so the allowance will decrease and eventually stop so that you can provide for your child.