Re: Competing with husband's female best friend
I read this and your previous thread. I know you're worried about coming accross as insecure and jealous, but your husband is behaving like a jackass. Let him know it bothers you, dropping snide comments will just make you the enemy. Sit him down and say plainly, that this friendship is affecting your marriage, which, like it or not, it is. He can cut down on the time he spends with this woman (texting etc) and if she is a true friend of his she will understand this and back off. Not saying they can't be friends but weekly visits to her apartment alone? Sure, nothing's going on now, but why have that temptation there? All it takes is one fight with you, and he has a warm body to go to on cue, then sure enough, a shoulder to cry on becomes a woman to cheat with... Why risk it? He tells you his intentions are pure, but what of hers? What self-respecting woman wants to be third-wheeling with a married couple all the time? You snooped and read disrespectful text messages.. How do you know that there aren't flirtatious and inapproproate ones he has deleted?
I really don't get either of their motivations for this, particularly undermining and mocking you in their text messages. Every time he does that he is undermining and mocking your marriage, period. Who is she that she gets to mock his wife so brazenly? Who is she to him that he allows her to? This woman needs to back off, but your husband needs to be a man and start being there for his wife. Excuses about 'but she's helpless and she needs affection more than you', don't wash with me. Marriage is what he signed up for, he is meant to honour and respect YOU. Let her go and find someone of her own to molly coddle her. Graceunderpressure and Syrum are right. He is the one with the problem. You need to lay down some boundaries with him as right now he is stepping all over your feelings. He knows that too, which is why he can laugh about it with this woman. He's on dangerous ground, and if you felt that this was all above board, you wouldn't be here seeking advice from strangers. Stop internalising this issue. Sit your man down and lay down some boundaries.
Am I perfect? No. Just better than I was a moment ago, hopefully.
Last edited by loren; 03-11-2011 at 06:52 AM.