Marriage advice.. plz

MAgirl · 05-02-2008, 05:45 PM

I have been married for 3 years and we were together for 3 years prior. We have 2 small children together, and we get along pretty good. We are a young couple... The problem:

I feel like we are going in different directions. He just got a motorcycle and its a whole new world.. He wants to go on bike rallies and I'm just not interested... I ride w/ him occasionally, but the fact is I do it to try to meet in the middle... he does things I want to do too, but I feel like with him buying this bike has opened a whole new set of issues.... We dont get a babysitter alot, and when we do, he wants to go on bike rallies... I told him I wasnt going to go , now hes not going to go and is miserable.. But im tired of going on rides all the time when we have a babysitter

I am in college and I want to keep going and going.. I"m scared that getting my college degree and keep getting more degrees will even put us on different paths...

Am I just being a baby??

Thanks

draconis · 05-02-2008, 06:18 PM

I think you fear losing the control you have had, and fail to communicate in an effective way to strengthen you both. Sit down with him and tell him it just isn't your thing and you don't mind if he does it once in a while but you miss the "US" time with him.

My wife loves World of Warcraft and personally it drives me nuts so we worked it out so we both got what we wanted. I think you need to do the same because this isn't a big issue compared to what you might face in the future.

draconis

MAgirl · 05-02-2008, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by draconis

I think you fear losing the control you have had, and fail to communicate in an effective way to strengthen you both. Sit down with him and tell him it just isn't your thing and you don't mind if he does it once in a while but you miss the "US" time with him.

My wife loves World of Warcraft and personally it drives me nuts so we worked it out so we both got what we wanted. I think you need to do the same because this isn't a big issue compared to what you might face in the future.

draconis

Thanks draconis

Russell · 05-07-2008, 08:22 PM

Heh, I'm an EQ addict. Part of the problem that lead to her affair, other than me being a lush.

happilymarried67 · 05-09-2008, 11:08 AM

I agree with Draconis. My hubby has different hobbies than I do. I find that I do mine when he does his and we meet in the middle. We also both acknowledge the us time. 4 kids and we do, do date nights, we also spend times at night not working on our hobbies and being together. It is always an ebb and flow to make one and other appreciate each other as a couple and as individuals. Let him know how you feel, schedule things that he is not into during his bike thing, and maybe meet at the end for dinner. There is all sort of ways to make things work for both of you.

SageMother · 05-11-2008, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MAgirl

I have been married for 3 years and we were together for 3 years prior. We have 2 small children together, and we get along pretty good. We are a young couple... The problem:

I feel like we are going in different directions. He just got a motorcycle and its a whole new world.. He wants to go on bike rallies and I'm just not interested... I ride w/ him occasionally, but the fact is I do it to try to meet in the middle... he does things I want to do too, but I feel like with him buying this bike has opened a whole new set of issues.... We dont get a babysitter alot, and when we do, he wants to go on bike rallies... I told him I wasnt going to go , now hes not going to go and is miserable.. But im tired of going on rides all the time when we have a babysitter

I am in college and I want to keep going and going.. I"m scared that getting my college degree and keep getting more degrees will even put us on different paths...

Am I just being a baby??

Thanks

You aren't being a baby. You are examining reality.

It could very well be that the two of you are going in different directions. If you cannot continue on his path, your wisest choice is to get your college education so that you can have a decent life, should you decide to end your relationship.