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To leave or not to leave?

1K views 2 replies 3 participants last post by  GeoffH 
#1 ·
:confused: We have only been married for 2 years, but seem to have a lot of problems, mostly based on trust. I have caught my husband several times downloading porn off the internet, he tries to hide it but I have found his search results and such. Just recently I found links to dating websites. He denies it to the end.... and my heart wants to believe him. I want to leave, but we have a 1 year old. It makes it very hard. Says that if I ever left I would not get custody of our son, which I feel is the only thing keeping me here. I do not want to be a single parent, and I don't want to do this to my child. How can we possibly work through this? :confused:
 
#2 ·
Have you tried talking to your husband about why he insists on downloading porn? It might not be anything personal toward you, but rather a way for him to fulfill some fantasy.

Sometimes men fantasize about those type of women because they can't ever imagine their wives, whom they often view as pure and innocent, would be involved in the situations portrayed in porno movies/photos. Some men find it hard to compare/imagine the mother of their children as ****s but it's still a turn on so they turn to porn. I'm not saying this is right but I am saying that it doesn't necessarily mean your husband doesn't love you or want you or that he doesn't think you're sexy anymore. To him, you might just be too good for dirty porn situations.

As for the dating sites... there may be something fishy going on there or he really is telling the truth. Who knows, maybe he has a single friend who joined a few of those sites and he was curious about them. Again, it doesn't make it right but if that's the case, it's an innocent mistake.

In the meantime, I would sit down and talk to him to try and get to the root of why he was looking at dating sites and downloading porn. And I would say that if he doesn't stop looking at dating sites and downloading porn then you might have a problem.
 
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