Re: 18 year age gap...can it ever work?
I am new here and I am really happy to hear that there are couples out there with big age gaps, and the issues they face.
I was separated for 5 months from an unhappy relationship with a guy who is my age group and generation. He did not live up to my expectations, he was not mature and did not know what he wanted in life. I was ready to move forward. I've endured so many life experiences and it has moulded me the person I am today, I seek maturity, trust, honesty, love and open communication in a relationship.
I will call my partner C. I am 26, he is 45.
Two months ago, I have met a man who is 19 years older than me. At first, I thought he was too old for me but as we got to know each other, the age gap didn't matter to me anymore. It's quite funny how we met, his brother (whom is a friend of mine) offered to come pick me up and give me a lift to go to a live show when my other plans fell through, C was the designated driver for the night. We were introduced and started a conversation in the car on the way there.
I've notified the both of them that I had fears of running into my ex-partner due to unfortunate legal circumstances because he may be at the show. So they were aware. As soon as we got there, C was in protective mode, like he was my body-guard. This showed me how caring and considerate he was. We chatted, getting to know each other.
I was waiting for my friends to arrive as I had a ticket to sit next to my friend. As my friend arrived, I told C and his brother that I would catch them later. I went into the stadium with her, we realised that we were allocated seats away from each other. So I had to leave my friend and found my seat which was a block away. I sat with strangers and I was very uncomfortable. I messaged C's brother immediately and told him what's happened. C came looking for me straight away and I sat with him. After that I have felt safe. It went from conversations to playful pokes, when the show ended, we went back to the car, waited for C's brother to pay for the parking ticket. I felt very attracted to C as we got along so well.
Our hands touched and we felt this amazing connection, from that point on, we were inseparable. We parked at a fishing wharf and talked, we watched the sunrise together for the first time. It was an amazing experience. It was like a beginning to a new life.
When I broke the news to my family that I have met someone with a big age difference, the first few weeks were hell-bent. My family attempted anything to split us up, the more they continued this, it brought C and I closer and closer. Nothing could break us. We are madly in love with each other.
I was amazed with C's strength and positivity, and that has kept me hopeful and positive that things would work out in the end.
C is currently going through divorce and settlement proceedings with his ex, at first I had fears that I may just be a rebound, and he assured me that there is no reconciliation with his wife as he is beyond happy with me.
He also has two kids, 17 and 22. At first, they were happy for their father, next minute, their whole worlds crashed (it may have been their mother's influence) but he is working on re-establishing his relationship with his kids. His kids are very smart and academically bright and mature.
We spoke about our future, he would be blessed to re-marry and bear children with me.
I know other couples with big age differences, and they are very much in love and happy, they're married and they've conceived children.
We are the happiest we have ever been, we have a great relationship based on love, trust, open lines of communication, friendship, deep attraction and inside the boudouir - have absolutely no complaints. We both have very similar interests and hobbies and we are very inseparable. We love being with each other. Our age gap means nothing to us and my family have started to accept that I am very happy and I've made my choice.
I know I have met my soul mate and I cannot imagine being with anybody else apart from C.
So my advice to others - fight for what you believe in and how you feel. Your happiness is only paramount to yourself, not others and you will have a beautiful relationship and life with that special person.