saveme4

Hi everyone,
i posted previously about my relationship and sex. today i realize its more serious than that. My girlfriend of 2+ years told me last night that even though she loves me, she doesnt know if she is in love with me. this broke my heart because i am so so so in love with her and love her. i would go to hell and back for her. she says its not me and that she doesnt know who she is anymore. we get into fights pretty often and it was never like this for the first year and a quarter. the fights are about sex sometimes, also about things like past boyfriends. i noticed that she was finding old boyfriends on facebook so i asked her to stop and she said ok, but she still did it. also she keeps in contact with a couple old boyfriends and when i know shes texting them she lies and says shes not. when i confront her about it she says she didnt tell me because she thought id get mad, when i told her before that i get mad because if it doesnt mean anything, she wouldnt have to keep it secret.
but thats not the main problem. she says she doesnt feel the same emotion that she used to when we heard "our songs." im so confused because it seems like nothing i do helps. and on top of this im trying to deal with my feelings for her not being returned at this moment in time.
and even though we fight and things are the way they are, i cant see myself with anyone else for the rest of my life. i know she is my one true love and will never love anyone the way i love her for the rest of my life.
If anyone has any help to give it would be greatly appreciated.

mollyL

Sorry, Saveme, but if your girlfriend can say something like "even though I love you I don't know if I am in love with you" it's obvious that she hasn't the faintest idea what love is. Unfortunately, you can love her tremendously but you can't will her to love you. I suggest that, hard as it sounds right now, you should end this relationship before she hurts you any more. If she objects to breaking up with any more of this phony love talk, she is a user who wants you around because you stroke her ego. Leave now.

saveme4

im sorry molly but thats not what im gonna do. you got her all wrong, im pretty sure she can be in love with me because she has for almost 2 years. she just needs to find herself. i want advice to help her find herself

happilymarried67

I have to agree with Molly on that one. She is not ready for a serious relationship anymore. I have been in love with my husband for over 11 years and I don't need to find my old boyfriends to find out who I am because I am not the same person as I was. My husband and family make me who I am today.. Smothering her and trying to get her help for what seems to be her "finding herself" isn't going to make it happen. You can lead the horse to water but you cannot make it drink. If she wants this relationship to work with you than she has to be willing to make it work. Her heart just doesn't seem to be with it. The harder you try to bring her back the worse it will only get. Give her some space, if she really wants to be with you the space will help her sort through who own emotions.

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