Things missing

BendBound · 05-13-2008, 01:18 AM

i have been married for 4 years now to my best friend and over the past couple years i have felt like we are missing something in our marriage. We are great friends, take care of each other, but we lack that spark of being in love and that desire to always want to touch eachother etc....we have never had that and i figured it would come after being married. Now i find myself feeling extremely trapped in a marriage, not being fair to her or myself. I am scared i will stray and cheat someday trying to find what is missing in another relationship. We have talked about things, but seem to be on totally different levels. I dont think she feels that anything is missing. Maybe i am being a hopeless romantic, but i want that desire for my wife. I want to look at her and say to myself that she is so beautiful to me. Did we make a mistake by marrying to early. It was the safe thing to do, marry your best friend.

happilymarried67 · 05-13-2008, 11:07 AM

You have probably read this many many times, relationships are always ebbing and flowing. It takes work to keep the spark alive. It is not always a spontaneous thing. We have been together for 11 years, we have 4 kids and all their activities. I make time when my husband comes home to give him a meaningful hug, kiss, back scratch and I always tell him how much he means to me. In the am, he leaves before me, he kisses me and hugs me and tells me how much he wants to grow old with me. The spark is not always there you have to make it there. I have said in other post, I text him during the day. We make a point of all the things that we did when we first met, we try to still do. That is what seems to be keeping the spark alive. It is easy to let it fade when you get caught up in day to day life and forget that your partner is also supposed to be your lover. Just a thought from a middle aged lady.