04-24-2010, 09:21 PM
Join Date: Jan 2010
| | He serves me, then changes his mind??
I'm in need of some big time advice.
To make a very long story short, my husband and I have been married for 3 years this July. Things have been extremely rocky during this time.
The whole time I've been a full time student, which has made him feel ignored. He works very long hours at a ridiculous job, which makes me feel ignored. He's also OBSESSED with his job, hence me feeling ignored. He's been emotionally unfaithful several times, which has obviously destroyed my trust in him. He's walked out on me 3 times and 5 days after the last, I was served with divorce papers.
Obviously things were once good. I was young, naive, and in love. He was young-ish, immature, and in lust. Over the years, I've grown up and have some serious expectations for a happy future (ie, a husband that pursues me even when I'm wrinkly, a husband that is actually home for his family [future kids], a husband that makes me feel like the ONE every day, etc etc). I came to realize that every ingredient in my perfect life (present and future) was missing. When confronted (in months passed), he basically tells me he can't give me my perfect life.
I'm now 2 weeks away from graduating school, 1 month away from having an excellent job. I've found an apartment and started to pack my things and plan my new life.
Tonight (3 weeks after being served), he tells me that he loves me, he loves us, and wants to fix things. How can I trust him NOW? How can I believe him NOW?
My gut tells me to continue on my path of independence, because he's hurt me so many times and he will do it again. BUT my heart tells me that no matter what, we will be together.
What do I do???