marsprincess

Do you consider topless or lap dancing cheating?

OneMarriedGuy

Do you?

Or maybe I should try to do some interpreting here and say does your SO?

If so, go with him, go off and talk to the person at the bar for a while, doesn't really matter about what. Later at home let him know you really liked it and talked to the person there and you are going to start making some extra money working there a couple nights a week. Giving lapdances looks like great fun and you'd enjoy being a major tease to the guys.

Then see if he still has the same opinion.

marsprincess

I believe my hub might have been engaging in such activity.And wondering if I am out of line for being worrie dabout it.

cantletgo

I'd only worry about it if he was hiding it from you. Have you asked him not to go to strip clubs?

okeydokie

it shows a lack of respect for you....assuming everything in your marriage is normal. by normal i mean you havent told him you hate him, or to do whatever he wants because you dont care, etc...

my wife is no fan of strip clubs or playboy magazine et all, and i respect that and dont do it.

HappyHer

It's cheating if you feel cheated on. It doesn't really matter what the activity is, if you feel cheated, then your feelings are real and valid and need to be explored by you and your partner.

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Freak On a Leash

"Cheating"..no. Topless dancing isn't a problem because it's just visual. My husband and his friends have gone to topless dancing bars in the past and it's never bothered me. It's just a social thing that the guys have done from time to time. He hasn't been to a topless dancing bar in years though. My husband has always been completely open with me about it too so I suppose that helps.

Lap dancing I frown on. I don't want any women laying her mitts or buns on my husband (and of course vice-versa) so while I don't consider it cheating I do consider it inappropriate. It's never come up so it hasn't been an issue.

If it's a problem for you then you need to discuss it with your husband. If he respects you then he shouldn't do it if it's a problem for you. I don't think it's unreasonable to not approve of these activities. IMO it's pretty much in the same category as a husband looking at pornography.

TotallyAnonymous

Physically cheating, I suppose no. Well, unless the lap dance produces a physical effect, which could be considered cheating in a sense. Emotionally cheating, yes I believe so. Obviously the purpose of stripping and lap dances is to give a visual of what it would be like to have sex with that person, which in turn is having "thoughts" of cheating... Those types of things aren't acceptible in our relationship, it opens doors to cheating (whether it be physically or emotionally.) I don't want my husband visualizing what it might be like to have sex with the girl taking her clothes off in front of him, or rubbing herself all up on his personal area. And even the best husbands WILL fantasize about it if a girl is putting herself out there like that.

I definitely think you should express your disapproval of that kind of activity. He should respect it.

Crypsys

Stupid question mars, but have you asked him if he'd like you to dance for him? If that is his "thing" its something you could easily do for him that would probably make him pretty happy. Act like that dancer, don't let him get the "goods" easily, make him really want it and about ready to explode. Many people have "fetishes" that they would like their spouses to fulfill. Some, I can see causing issues with the spouse. But, stripping is harmless enough. I don't know of any guy that doesn't get really turned on by his wife dancing.

That being said, I think it's not the best thing for a husband to do; going out to a strip club. While I don't believe it's cheating, I do believe it's a bad decision. I would not yell and complain at him, but let him know calmly how you really feel. And, if your up to it, do some dancing for him, you may be surprised at the results!