07-05-2007, 02:42 PM
Join Date: Jul 2007
| | Love but No Sex
I love my wife, M, of 38 years but we never have sex anymore. We're both 53 and in excellent shape for our age. We used to have sex constantly, but it began dropping off about 15 years ago and has been almost non-existent for the past few years. It's my fault, because M wants to have sex with me but I very rarely want it with her. Why is that? Why do I no longer love my wife sexually?
I'm no longer excited by M sexually. She's in very good shape and wants to have sex, but I just don't get excited by her like I used to. I am very excited by other women of all ages but have kept this as a fantasy. To be frank, I've been unfaithful a handful of times in 38 years, but not in the past 15 years. Paradoxically, I've never been unfaithful to M during this period of sexual abstinance. I know that M has an one extra marital affair but I harbor absolutely no hard feelings towards her. She said she strayed because I was not satisfying her sexually, and I simply can't argue with that...I was not. That was about ten years ago.
The last thing I want is a divorce. The very best thing for me would be to be once again attracted to M. She would also love for that to happen. I am still turned on easily and consider myself a very sexually oriented person but I now get my release through masturbation and pornography, not with other women. I do recognize that this is also a form of infidelity.
In a nutshell, what can I do to rekindle sexual attraction to M?