General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
My husband has a meeting in Europe. He has invited me along. However, since the company is paying for his fare, he'll be in Business Class while I'll be in Coach.
It's not the first time we've done this. He's never apologised for the situation nor offered to downgrade himself to be with me. He has offered to upgrade me to Business Class, and although maybe he was serious, I never allowed it because I don't want to spend the money.
But I feel bad that he won't suffer 12 hours in Coach just to be with me. Is he treating me badly?
I mean he is taking you to Europe, he WANTS to take you, he has offered to upgrade you to business class, but YOU said no.
He is treating you fine, I know my company would frown about me bringing my wife on a business trip, and they buy the ticket for the Business class fare.
I think you should be happy he wants to bring you and spend time with you on his business trips.
I know many men that view their business trips as Their time and would NEVER bring their wives.
My wife would be thrilled if I was going on a business trip to europe and I brought her along.
Hopefully iI did not sound mean, but life could be a lot worse.
I agree with whomever said he might not have asked if you wanted to be upgraded because of your past responses. And it is nice that he is taking you but I agree that if it bothers you then just talk to him. Otherwise it will not just go away and might spoil what should be a great trip. He probably just doesn't know how you feel.
Thanks folks. He knows I feel bad. I made it clear from my tone of voice. I gently suggested his downgrade and he flatly refused.
My husband has a colleague who downgraded himself just to be with his wife in coach. Mind you, all this guy's subordinates were on the same flight and they all rode business class! When I found out about it later, I openly expressed to my husband my admiration for the guy. This incident made me think that maybe that guy was the norm.
Sorry Nikki, but I am going to join up with the others too.
He is getting to go on a European trip, and his company are paying.. they pay for business class, to make sure that when he gets there he will be refreshed and ready for the doubtless important meetings he is going for in the first place. It would not be good for his company's image to have it's senior executives flying coach.
Can't believe that you are complaining because your hubby wants to take you on all his trips. YOU are the one that refused to fly with him in business because YOU didn't want to spend the money.
I am at a loss as to why you are now resentful?
Why not tell him, look i'm sorry i was so silly before, i would love to fly business class with you this time please.
Thanks folks, for broadening my view. I still won't pay for an upgrade however, but I'll try not to feel bad anymore.
Of a couple I know, the husband would never dream of travelling in Business class while his wife is in coach. I guess maybe either they can afford it or they're reckless with their money.
On this trip to Europe, another husband working for the company is trying to get his Business class seat broken down into two coach seats for him and his wife. By the way, their young daughter is also traveling with them so there's added incentive for him to stay in coach. (Not sure though if he can manage this, such a thing is not considered ethical by other companies.)
Your husband, even though maybe it'sexpensive was willing to pay for you, which you should look at as him thinking you were more important than the money to him... which is nice...
Go along, forget about travelling in coach, and make the most of your european trip, very few people ever get the chance for that kind of travel.
By the way, their young daughter is also traveling with them so there's added incentive for him to stay in coach.
If I was travelling with a child as well then I think I'd probably expect my husband to travel with me. If you were in that situation it would change my view, but I'm sure you'll cope on your own.
Look on it as an chance to catch up on your reading!
I could not disagree more with what others have said in their replies to you, about not being upset. I hope you work everything out with your husband, but I can understand you being upset about the situation. Even if he doesn't mean to convey it deliberately, the fact that he won't downgrade to coach to be with you for the flight sends a message that he considers his own convenience or his image before the other workers as more important than being with you. I believe a married couple should take advantage of being together whenever they can.
I'm not saying he's a bad man or husband, and it's certainly a good sign that he's willing to upgrade your seat to be with him, but part of true love is putting others first, and if I'm a man who loves his wife, I can tell you I'd be willing to ride in the cargo hold to be with my wife!
Bottom line... you are NOT wrong, immature, or abnormal for feeling the way you do. You know, the advice you got in the other replies reminds me of a guy who takes a woman to a dance and then spends much of the time away from her while there, and then someone tells you "don't feel bad about that, be glad that at least he brought you at all."
Be honest with him and let him know your feelings. If he's mature, then he won't think that anything that upsets you is "silly" or "trivial." If it upsets the one I love, then that makes "it" important to me.
He's in Business Class while I'm in Coach!
