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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-01-2010, 03:20 AM Thread Starter
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How to get sex drive back into a woman

This is hard to talk about but here goes. My ex wife quit having sex with me years ago after our son was born, but I stayed faithful to her because of my son i eventually devorced and started dating my first girlfriend and fell head over heels in love with her. I soon found out that I had a problem, she was all over me but I couldnt get an errection. To make a long story short she accepted me and we eventually married, but because of my problem I felt like half a man with a serious lack of confidence and blocked out the idea of having sex. Its not that I didn't want sex I do, i think about it constantly, she is such an amazing and beautiful woman. I did go to see a doctor about my problem and found out that I have ED and to make matters worse the little blue pill doesn't help. I want to have a sexual relationship with her. but now i have gotten to the point that she has lost that drive. I know she loves me but how do I get her interested in sex again. I know that even though I cant get an errection that there is more than one way to have a sexual relationship but I cant get her interested. We have talked about it and she says that when a woman doesnt use it she losses it. I asked what would it take to get her interested again and she just says I dont know. I would like to hear from anyone who has been down this road and thanks for any advise

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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-01-2010, 05:56 AM
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Re: How to get sex drive back into a woman

I would have loved it if my long-time-ago ex-h had your approach when he had a similar issue. He just pulled back... You can please your wife orally and manually. A lover I had who maybe had ED or maybe did not - I did not care - made me orgasm with his hands and I then "licked him up" and he came in my mouth - and we were so happy!

Last edited by MysteriousFelinka; 05-01-2010 at 06:14 AM.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-01-2010, 07:00 AM
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Re: How to get sex drive back into a woman

I think your 1st step would be to convince her thoroughly that you indeed still LOVE SEX, think about it all the time and very much desire to get back into it with her -regardless of the obstacles you face, even IF it just means pleasing her.

Have you deeply shared this with her?

It is very unfortunate that you backed away sexually when you did , instead of taking the reins and just pleasing her then. This is what inevitablly brought about her "loosing her drive"-cause she felt you lost yours. Sounds like she loves you very very much to marry you, being aware of all of this, then adjusting her drive to accomondate what what happening -or not happening at that time.

Not sure about her, but some women, myself included, if I feel my husband is just trying to please me -and he is not fully into it with me, I would not like or enjoy the experience very much. In fact, It would upset me. I want him to WANT it too, even be a little SELFISH about it ! I want to feel his "need".

Not sure how long this "blocking out sex" period was for you & her, but it may be an uphill battle to convince her fully that YOU are INTO IT AGAIN, full force, you are lusty, you are erotic. Maybe she needs to FEEL that to kickstart her drive again.
And learning other alternative ways to please each other. I found this book on amazon that might give you ideas Let Me Count the Ways: Discovering Great Sex Without Intercourse (9780874779561): Marty Klein, Riki Robbins: Books
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