My wife has no sexual desire
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Old 05-01-2010, 02:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default My wife has no sexual desire

My wife and I have been married for 9 years and together for 12 years. I am 35 and she is 33. We have 2 great boys that are 7 and 5 years old. We do not want to have any more children which shouldn't be a problem as she has no desire whatsoever. I have always been the kind of guy that surprises her with flowers and such and tries to do anything to make her happy. I try to touch her etc. discreetly, hug her or kiss her but she says she isn't in that kind of mood EVER. It is getting very frustrating. I am looking for some advice as to anything I can try to get her back in the mood.
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Old 05-01-2010, 02:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife has no sexual desire

This I guess is a very frequent problem considering how many posts I've seen about it.

Try not to push. If she says she isn't in the mood then don't continue acting like you want sex. I know when I don't want it and I do it just to make my husband happy, after a while i start to get resentful towards him bc it feels like its all about his needs and not mine, go a little while without asking for any or hinting at any sex. If a month is a normal span for her not to have sex then dont bug her for a month. If a week is a normal span then dont bug her for a week. She will appreciate that you are trying to back off her a little bit.

If backing off doesn't work then maybe its more of an aging thing, libidos tend to get lower and lower with age. How long between each time is it normally? if its just a few weeks or a month I wouldnt worry. If it goes months without her wanting any then maybe you should talk to her, tell her you have needs and that you would never want to push her but see if maybe she would like to go to counseling or a doctor so that you to can spice it up like the older days. Try to say it in a way that isn't blaming her for not having a high libido. Putting someone on the spot, especially a woman, just makes them not want to comply even further.
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Old 05-01-2010, 03:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife has no sexual desire

How often did you have sex prior to having kids?

When did her desire for you drop a lot?

Do you both work? Who is the primary wage earner?

Have you stayed in shape?
Has she?

How often do you two argue? When you argue do you stay calm or do you get really angry and yell? Does she stay calm/get really angry and yell?

When you argue, who usually tries to end the fight/make up afterwards? Always you, always her, about 50/50?

How often does she say "I love you" to you? How often do you say it to her?



Quote:
Originally Posted by frusrated View Post
My wife and I have been married for 9 years and together for 12 years. I am 35 and she is 33. We have 2 great boys that are 7 and 5 years old. We do not want to have any more children which shouldn't be a problem as she has no desire whatsoever. I have always been the kind of guy that surprises her with flowers and such and tries to do anything to make her happy. I try to touch her etc. discreetly, hug her or kiss her but she says she isn't in that kind of mood EVER. It is getting very frustrating. I am looking for some advice as to anything I can try to get her back in the mood.
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