McGraw

Ok---I live in Pennsylvania, he lives in Nashville. We met on the internet, craigslist, to be honest. Don't form an opinion because of that, you never know until you try. Here's the issue---we've been 'together' since Oct 09. I went to meet him in Nov.09, and we totally fell in love. I am an aspiring singer, and so is he. I have 2 kids, he has 2 grown that he doesnt see. I am divorced, staying with a friend who is male, and he(nash) is very understanding about my situation, knowing I had nowhere else to go. I had been living with my friend 6 mos. before we met. OK--so we have been making our way to each other the entire time, we plan to get married, and I'm moving to Nash to be with him, pursue music together, etc...He has rented us a home, with my girls in mind, he worked so hard to do everything on his own, and I'm so proud of him for that...He just came up to see me 2 weeks ago, and it was fantastic. We had our time and time with my girls, and they just love each other! We had planned to be moving this Saturday, he was coming for us. HOWEVER--every few weeks or so, he has a major setback-if he can't reach me by phone, he goes nuts. I don't work and haven't for the entire relationship, so I've always been available to talk--all day, every day--(he can talk while he works) I devote all my time to him, even when my kids are around. He has accused me of doing things I haven't done (cheating). I don't have a social life AT ALL, don't even go anywhere without my kids. I know the distance is rough. Last nite something 'set him off'-guess because I didnt call him for a bit, he knows my daughter just had oral surgery on Mon. and needs me rite now...but, he had been upset about a conversation we had earlier, now he says its over??...The more I write, the more childish it all sounds,,and crazy....theres so much more to say...if you only knew...I don't even understand what I said to upset him...it was something about my past...I don't want to lose him. I swear he's bipolar, he has extreme lows for no reason, and when he's feeling high, its great......help..this is sooo nuts.......

scarletblue

I know people who are happily married after meeting on the internet, so I'm not going to judge you there. I am going to point out however, that no matter how much you talk on the phone or on the internet, you really are getting limited information on the other person.

It sounds to me like he has serious jealousy issues. Yes, that may improve if you move down there, but....but....what are you going to do if he's jealous of your children? Is he going to have a problem with you giving time and attention to them? What are your plans once you move down there? Is he going to accuse you of cheating if you get a job, or a gig singing somewhere?

Before you uproot your family and move to a different state, with no income, think long and hard. You will be stuck if he flips out on you down there. Would he get mad and kick you and your kids out of the house?

Personally, I would require some stability before moving.

McGraw

Thanks for the advice...you do have a good point there. You are right about not really knowing a person by just talking to them, thats for sure. I am scared, but I'm trying not to let that change my mind.....I really do want to be with him.

questions

I think that I understand that you're in love and really want this relationship to work out. I once had a long distance relationship with a man with whom I was deeply in love but could see only occasionally. I think that I created an image of the person whom I wanted/desired in those time of yearning and absence, which made him even more irresistible when we actually saw each other. In hindsight, I am not sure how much of him was real vs made up by my mind when I missed him. It's just hard to see when there's so much yearning due to distance. At any rate, it seems like that there could be early signs that could potentially impact your children if you two decide to move in together. You're uprooting their lives as well with this move. You might want to take time to get to know this person on more regular basis before moving in with him with your kids. Is it possible for you to get a place nearby without necessarily moving in together now? I wish you the best.