Wife reads incest porn - what to do?
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Old 05-11-2010, 12:44 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

Hello, I'm a new user of this site. I registered because I really need help with something. You see, my wife and I have been married only 6 years. At first, the sex was really good. Then she got pregnant and it basically stopped. Since the baby was born, we've only had sex about 5 times (in 7 months), whereas the first 5 years we had it every day, usually morning and night. I know pregnancy affects women in different ways. She's a little overweight right now, from the pregnancy, and doesn't feel very sexy, but it doesn't affect me. I still find her very attractive, even with the extra weight and I regularly tell her so.

Anyway, the other day while I was updating the virus files on the laptop, she had a window of her browser open to one of those adult fiction sites. Usually the stuff she reads is pretty mild, more of the romance genre, rather than out and out porn. But this story was about incest. I read it and was shocked. It was incredibly graphic. The thing that was most shocking was it was about a mom having sex with her young son.

Now, I'm no prude, and not against porn in any way! In fact, I think some pornography is fine and any way I'm a man and find porn myself helpful and useful for getting over a little urge here and there. Frankly, the last year while she was not into sex, I used a lot of porn sites to get off. I talked to her about it, but she wasn't interested.

So here she is, reading stories about having sex with a young son and all I'm thinking about is she nuts? Is this normal? What should I do?
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Old 05-11-2010, 01:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

Ask her about it. It could be that she was sickened by it too, but just couldn't help looking at it, kind of like watching a horror movie. Without asking her about it though, you won't know.
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Old 05-11-2010, 02:58 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

No, she's not sickened by it. I read through her browser history, going back several weeks. She reads it regularly.
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Old 05-11-2010, 03:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

Well, if she's reading it regularly, it's hard telling. Without talking with her, you'll only be guessing and getting more upset. Wait until it's a calm time and let her know she may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, but you just really want to understand. Do your best not to put her on the defensive though or you may not get the understanding you are hoping for.
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Old 05-11-2010, 08:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

i think you need to confront her and tell her that's out of line and needs to stop. if she wont agree to stop, and put monitoring software on the computer so you can see her activity, then you need to consider what is in the best interest of your child. I would record all these sites she's gong to in case it comes down to court. that's a horrible environment for any child.
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Old 05-11-2010, 08:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

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Originally Posted by Blanca View Post
then you need to consider what is in the best interest of your child. I would record all these sites she's gong to in case it comes down to court. that's a horrible environment for any child.
Do you really think this kind of thing (reading incest stories) could hurt my child? If so, what do you think I should do about it?
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Old 05-11-2010, 09:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

oh ya i definitely think it can hurt your child. you know the saying: watch your thoughts, they become your words. what your words, they become your actions. and actions become habits.

All behavior is preceded by thought. Its not just some sick fantasy. she's willingly putting these thoughts into her head. that's so disturbing. why would any sane person want to put those kind of thoughts in their head??

will she ever directly assault your child? who knows. but if she's reading this stuff the likelyhood increases. there is absolutely no reason for her to be doing that. nothing good comes from filling her head with that junk. it needs to stop immediately. her thoughts will express themselves in some way. you have to protect your family. there's no reason that needs to be going on.

i would document what sites she's going to before i confront her. i would not make light of this or try and understand her. No one in their right mind would want to understand why someone needs to read that stuff. it just needs to stop. plain and simple. She needs to understand that it has to stop. she'll probably get angry and defensive but who cares. let her get angry. dont get angry with her. all you have to do is reiterate that it has to stop.

but that's just me talking. you have to sort out how you feel. you cant go to her with someone else's words and expectations. you have to figure out how you feel about it, what you expect from her, and what you will do if she wont do what you expect from her, and then talk to her. make sure what you are saying is congruent with how you are feeling. empty words complicate things.
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Old 05-12-2010, 02:39 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

Hold on here before you get carried away.

Your wife reading incest porn does NOT mean she will assault your son! I'm a woman who has in the past viewed bestiality and incest porn/read fiction. It dcertainly does not mean I want or have ever had sex with a horse, or had inappropriate urges toward my son (who is now 25!). It's simply something wierd and different and strangley compelling at a time when hormones are rampant for whatever reason (birth, new relationship etc). Also it PASSES eventually, ususally sooner rather than later. The whole reason that this fiction is out there is that more people than your wife read it and it doesn't make them child abusers. Take a look on IMDB, quite a few 'mainstream' movies have tackled this subject too.
By all means ask your wife about it but don't jump to conclusions or panic because of one reply to your post. People are very complex and I'll bet my bottom dollar this phase will pass with no detriment to either you or your child.
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Old 05-12-2010, 06:56 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

Cherryfest I thank you for that reasonable response.
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Old 05-12-2010, 02:10 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

I agree- I wouldnt say you should track her and set up a case for the courts. Thats comparable to saying whatever porn a man watches he will do out and do. Just not true. I would definitely agree to ask her about it, in a calm conversation. Dont come off as attacking, or disgusted, just interested. If she doesnt feel attacked by it she will be much more willing to tell you her true feelings.
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Old 05-12-2010, 07:09 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

I agree with Cherryfest and Sweetiepie that your child isn't automatically at risk. But surely your lady is edging around illegal material and possibly risking a great deal of trouble? Or am I wrong?
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Old 05-13-2010, 02:35 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

No it's not illegal in fiction. However, if she was watching 'real' porn videos with underage actors then yes it's illegal.

From what the poster says I honestly don't think it's real problem, she isn't searching out child porn on the net
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Old 07-04-2012, 12:17 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

reading incest is perfectly fine, some might think reading incest is wrong/illegal cause they are afraid they might act on it
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Old 07-04-2012, 01:06 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

She might just visit site for stories and read stories from there and sometimes it happens that there is incest story on site.

If site where she is reading are all incest stories,and she only reads that site(so she only reads incest stories) then that could be worrying.
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Old 07-04-2012, 01:12 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife reads incest porn - what to do?

The problem I see is that even though reading a certain genre of porn doesn't mean someone would commit an act, people who *do* commit acts often partake in porn that reflects the kinds of acts they're interested in.

If she was reading something where the female character was the victim, I'd be less concerned, but the fact that the offender character is the one most like her would concern me a great deal. The fact that she is engaging in it regularly means it's an ongoing interest and not just a passing fancy. The fact that she left her browser open to it and didn't erase her history is also worrisome, because many perpetrators start the grooming process with actions they can explain as accidental, when it's really a test of YOU and how you'll respond so they can gauge whether they'll be safe if and when they act upon their fantasies.

As far as what to do about it, that's a very personal call and a risk that you have to determine for yourself. I see three red flags about your son's well being that I've described above. Only you can weigh whether the benefits of being with her and your son being in her care outweighs the risk factor.
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