How do I cope with my husband leaving?
I have been married almost 10 years. Two months ago I come home to find a note from my husband saying he was "separating from me" and he didn't love me anymore. I was devastated to say the least. We had been going to counseling together for almost a year, and I thought things were improving. Unfortunately, the majority of those sessions I was trying to get my husband "talked into" having another child. At that time, I thought that was the right thing to do.
We have a 3 year old who is the light of our lives. Unfortunately, I found out about a 1 1/2 ago I am in early menopause (I am 34). I freaked out! I pressured my husband into any and all infertility treatments no matter how many times he told me he didn't think he wanted more kids. He is upset that I was so controlling (and always have been). I realize that this is not a healthy way to communicate and unfortunately my husband is very passive-aggressive. You can see why we ended up here.
I love my husband with every ounce of my being. I recognize my part in what got us here and I have taken the necessary steps to change. I hate that I have hurt. If I could find a way to take his pain away I would do it in a heartbeat.
He moved in with his parents and now I am taking care of our house 100% by myself. I have our son about 80% of the time too. I just get so overwhelmed sometimes that I just can't be patient and wait for him to come back. I can't stop crying and I am sick of having our son console me. He shouldn't have to do that.
We have gone to three counseling sessions since he left. The last one was to talk about a custody agreement for our son. He agreed to a date tonight, but sometimes I just feel like I have so much pressure on myself not to mess up that I explode into tears.
I want my husband back home so he can see that things can be different with us. I feel like when we live apart the minimal time that we spend together I put so much pressure on myself to show him how different things can be that it usually ends up being extremely uncomfortable.
I love my husband and I don't want our son to grow up in a broken home. Any advice?