What's wrong with me?
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Old 07-05-2007, 11:51 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy What's wrong with me?

I'm new here, so hello, everyone. Okay..... this is a relationship/breakup problem (sorry if you're tired of those): 6 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend, "Sean," of a year. We were great together and the only real problems were that he made me feel bad about myself sometimes (what guy doesn't every now and then, though, huh?). And he was a little jealous; didn't want me to wear certain clothes in public, so other guys wouldn't look, etc. Well, we tried to be friends after that, which I suggested and was okay with, with occasional fighting (on his part, since he wanted me mostly as a girlfriend) and some awkwardness. Well, a month ago, we had a bit of a fight on the phone and don't call eachother anymore (didn't verbally decide to, just happened that way). Well, two weeks ago, I started dating "Jeremy," who was a good friend of mine. For the past month or so, I've been thinking a lot about Sean and missing him. Was hoping the feelings would go away, but they have only gotten stronger and worse (to the point that I called my best friend at 4 in the morning, which I NEVER do - I never talk to people about my problems). Thing is....I also feel guilty for breaking up with Sean and the hurt I caused him and think about dating him again (I am advised it's not a good idea). And then I feel even MORE guilty because I'm dating Jeremy, who is great, sweet, caring, and would never do or say a thing to hurt me. I've expressed my guilt and thoughts to Jeremy, who says he just wants me to be happy and he will support whatever I do. I'm not sure Sean would even date me again, so I have no real basis on trying anything with him. I know I still love him, but......am I crazy for thinking this way, or should I try to give it another shot? Any advice would be of help and greatly appreciated.
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Old 09-02-2008, 07:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Smile Re: What's wrong with me?

I know everyone is telling you to NOT get back with him or even try but I'm going to repeat what you've more than likely been hearing.. Don't try again. Please. I'm going to guess that you're into guys who are controlling and overprotective because you're still thinking about that not so great relationship when you're with somebody now who is great and sweet and caring. My sister is the same way. Now she has a baby and nobody there for her. I know you miss him but later you won't miss the ridiculous arguing and manipulation you are attracted to now. You should stay with Jeremy, the guy you're with now. He sounds great.
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Old 09-02-2008, 08:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: What's wrong with me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkilaya1234 View Post
I know everyone is telling you to NOT get back with him or even try but I'm going to repeat what you've more than likely been hearing.. Don't try again. Please. I'm going to guess that you're into guys who are controlling and overprotective because you're still thinking about that not so great relationship when you're with somebody now who is great and sweet and caring. My sister is the same way. Now she has a baby and nobody there for her. I know you miss him but later you won't miss the ridiculous arguing and manipulation you are attracted to now. You should stay with Jeremy, the guy you're with now. He sounds great.


My sister keeps going back and forth with a guy that is really is caring and loving half the time but controlling, selfish, and unfeeling the rest. It's a nightmare for her and now she has a daughter by him and he does NOTHING to help her out.

One thing that I know is helping my sister in her process of getting over her ex is constantly writing anything down the father of her child does that is wrong. So when she starts missing him again, she breaks out that notebook and reads in her own words what she thinks about him the rest of the time. Helps her get past those times all she thinks about is his good side.

You're lucky though, my sister is alone and thus has to deal with the worry of forever being along versus being with someone that can be a real jerk. You at least have someone and are not a single mother in her 30's.

Now, I don't know how else you get over the ex, but you really need to work harder at that. Whatever you do, don't string Jeremy over any longer. Make a choice and go with it. Obviously, I think Jeremy deserves your attention and not your ex, but it's not my choice to make. Still, seems pretty odd that you're willing to throw away what could be something special with a great guy over a memory of a few good moments with a man you already know can be a jerk to you.

One negative comment about Jeremy though, the man should at least make an attempt to fight for you. Seriously, it's one thing to be a caring, thoughtful, nice guy, but fight for your woman!
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Old 09-02-2008, 08:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: What's wrong with me?

Forget sean, he is your ex for a reason and going back to him will not solve the old problems. It sounds like he is posessive and immature. Jeremy on the other hand wants what is best for you! Isn't that what love is all about? He seems like the real man here and the greater one too.

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Old 09-02-2008, 09:00 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: What's wrong with me?

Don't dwell on pass relationships, you'll miss out on the good ones.
If this guy didn't treat you with respect while dating you, why would you want to say with him? If you marry this man, you will most likely get the same treatment, or maybe even worse. I agree to give the new guy a try.
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Old 09-02-2008, 09:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: What's wrong with me?

This is from 2007. I wonder what happened?
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