Confused.

LostNconfused · 06-04-2008, 04:10 PM

hi all im new here and i need some advice. let me start by telling you a lil about me.
I got married to my husband about a month and a half ago known him for about a year and 1.2. we have had a lot of problems in our relationship, mostly with his drinking. i have stood by his side since the day i met him and we have been through a lot. all the time i would get so mad and feel that i didnt wanna be with him so i would end it , but then when i would end it i would want him back because i loved him to much to not be with him. so it was back and fourth there for awhile. well, he purposed to me about 5 mos ago and i was so happy, i thought to myself he is finally willing to commit to me. SO i went on planning our dream wedding and being all happy, and then all of a sudden he started changing his mind and gettin cold feet, so we decided to just go and sign the marriage papers and still have our wedding in july that way he wouldnt be so scared. and he we go again. we got a very nice town house, were doing ok for awhile , he finally stopped with his drinking but we fight, about a lot of things, all the time. and then when i get mad my first thought is just leave him and be done with it. but then i think about it and i love him and i dont wanna leave so i dont and i tryand try and try to work things out because i just cant find it in myself to end it. but then some days i just wake up so unhappy. but i cant leave im going insaine i dont know what to do . please give me any advice you can. i really do love him just dont know what to do or if we should really be together.

LostNconfused · 06-04-2008, 04:16 PM

Oh && another thing is the sex life. wow. its almost not there anymore. i dont feel that he understands that its not all about him. which he really thinks it is, i mean i am attracted to him, hes just not very sexual towards me just about him and then its done, so all in all there is no romance at all. and yes i have talked to him about this..

happilymarried67 · 06-04-2008, 06:16 PM

Okay, I would say that you need to find someone to help you sort through your feelings with the "I love him and want to be with him, I think I am going to leave." That can't be good for either of you. You both need to grow up a bit. Marriage is a commitment that takes alot of work. It has ups and downs and it is very hard thing to do. If you have questions you need to seek some advice to help you sort out you feelings. I think I would also look into AA and Al-anon for both of you to work on that aspect of the relationship. Just a couple thoughts.

PS--have you ever thought he could be suffering from depression (low sex drive and his drinking?)