Desperately need help. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

colorado4 · 06-09-2010, 06:19 PM

Me and my wife have only been married a little over a year now. We had our first child 9 months ago. She recently started acting strange and when I tried to address it she denied anything being wrong. Then a few weeks ago i found messages on her phone between her and another guy. As I confronted her about this she told me she hasn't been happy since the birth of our son. She says i drove very far away. Her reasoning was because I would not shower every single day. I never went more than 3 days without a shower even though she thinks I went weeks without. I just didn't see it necessary seeing as all i would do was work and come home to do more work. As our fighting continued over the last few weeks she continued talking to this guy. I finally found that she has kissed him several times even she swore to me she hadnt. Our most recent altercation was the breaking point for both of us. She says she wants us back to the way we were just as I do. But she says she doesnt know how it will happen. She says she isnt attracted to me at all anymore. What do I do now? I started showering at least once a day and dressing as nice as possible all the time. Does anyone have advice for me please.

Mom · 06-09-2010, 06:24 PM

The showering thing would turn me right off. I am not in any place to give advice but I can tell you that much.

thetruth · 06-09-2010, 06:38 PM

dude take a damn shower everyday, wtf?

doesn't excuse her behavior but its certainly not helping matters

Mom · 06-09-2010, 06:42 PM

It's not like he has to do hair and make up. Sheesh.

rbm33 · 06-09-2010, 06:51 PM

Hold on, im going to get some popcorn. this is gonna be good, i expect some entertaining replys.

in the mean time i suggest you jump in the shower and clean yourself up!!!!

Lyn · 06-10-2010, 03:46 AM

Good hygiene is very important if you want romance in your life.

Best,

Lyn

colorado4 · 06-11-2010, 07:32 AM

I'm sorry if this offends anyone but I posted on here looking for advice not more lectures. I know what I've done wrong and I've changed that. Now I'd like some advice on how to save my marriage please.
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swedish · 06-11-2010, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by colorado4

I just didn't see it necessary seeing as all i would do was work and come home to do more work.

Why do you work and come home and do more work? Can you find some time for fun in your schedule? Since you have addressed the issue of looking good...put it to good use and go on some dates, have some fun together....

Do you feel as though you are both in a rut with work, kids, etc.? If so, introducing some down-time might help.

colorado4 · 06-11-2010, 09:23 AM

I try to have fun but its also hard to be in a good mood. And she's constantly talking on the phone. I try to set up a date night but she always has something going on either for her or us.
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swedish · 06-11-2010, 10:31 AM

Is she still talking to the other guy? She is attracted to him and will not find her way back to you until first, he is out of the picture completely and second, you two begin to reconnect emotionally.

Do not settle for 'we are just friends'...she is/was getting something from him that she is not getting from you and that needs to end completely or she will not be able to re-commit to you.

turnera · 06-11-2010, 10:36 AM

The FIRST thing you have to do is make sure they are no longer in contact. Is she giving you access to her phone at all times? Does she give you the passwords to her phone and computer? If not, she is still seeing him.

You can't fix your marriage while he's still in the picture. Don't waste your time until you are sure.

Sixgunner · 06-12-2010, 08:39 AM

Crusty stuff on the twig and berries is pretty nasty. Clean up and treat her like you did earilier in your relationship and she'll come around.

Oneyeardown · 06-21-2010, 04:07 PM

Lynx Shower Gel have various different fragrances.....you should try it smelly!!

2Daughters · 06-21-2010, 04:09 PM

IMO..you never shower again at all..Love stinks!!

strawberry · 06-21-2010, 06:39 PM

chances are she is not in love with you anymore. my guess, if he ask her to marry him, she would leave you in a heartbeat. my advice is to move on. find someone who can love you for who you are and keep up with the daily showering and hygiene.