plymouth71

My H and I have very different ideas about affection that came to a head today. After months of dealing with unwanted groping while I wash dishes, make dinner, try to get dressed, etc, I finally told my H that I appreciate his hugs and kisses, but I didn't like him grabbing my breasts outside the bedroom.

His responses varied from, we live alone so there's no need to be uptight, I should be flattered that he finds me so attractive, and I am HIS wife so he should be allowed to touch me however and whenever he wants.

I would like to note that we have sex on average 4 times daily, so this isn't about him trying to turn me on, I don't think. He appears to genuinely feel that his displays of affection are appropriate, and I am being uptight and punishing him for loving me.

So, being unable to convince him to respect my boundaries, how do I go about taking down my boundaries? How can I make myself less uptight and more open to my H's brand of affection?
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Susan2010

His brand of affection, I guess so. Because groping and feeling on you is not affection by any means. Men very often equate affection with sex....or groping all the time.

I have no idea what you can do because that would be annoying to me, too. For any woman, I should think, and has been an age-old complaint. Since generally women don't like it and have never liked it, I guess to tolerate your husband doing this would be to.....tolerate your husband doing this. Sounds like a straight path to resentment though.

Of course, you could look at it as wanting to give him what he wants when he wants it. No harm in that and sounds a loving and affectionate maxim. Kind of a tribute to your love.

4 time a day?
Every day?
LOL

Advocado

This isn't the same thing, but reading your post reminds me of a time at school when another girl would constantly pinch me hard on the arm in greeting and in general conversation. It would happen everyday, several times a day. I found it VERY irritating, hated it and would constantly ask her to stop. She took no notice whatsever.

Eventually I thought well if you can't beat them join then and so I made a point of getting in first and pinching her hard on the arm at every opportunity. At first she gave me a pinch back but after a couple of days, guess what - she stopped doing it, so then I stopped too. Problem solved.

Not sure if you getting in there FIRST and groping your husband whilst he goes about his daily routine/trying to concentrate on stuff would help him appreciate how you feel - but might be worth a try.

reachingshore

Can't help you much except to tell you to CEASE THE DAY. In the first 1-2 years of my relationship and then marriage we did have sex and daily casual physical contact with sexual understone etc at the rate you currently experience, although I never had any boundary problems. After 8 years together, nowadays I would be very lucky to experience that 4 times a month

We whine when we have too much of it, we whine when we have too little. Just ENJOY!