To do or not to do....

hitrockbottom · 06-10-2008, 11:30 AM

Well two questions:

How do I communicate/ apologize with my wifes friends whom hate me due to the infidelity that I had a year and half ago. Which was with one of them(thats who told the wife.) They view me as inconsiderate and Selfish. They have told me to kill my self and make my wifes life easier. I don't want to look as if I am sucking up, I just want them to be able to see the changes and the effort that I am putting toward myself.

I feel like if I have any chance what so ever that I need to have her friends not bashing me at every chance they get.

Also

How to initiate contact with someone that is involved in my wifes life. This someone is the person I was so jealous of and The person who I created these stories in my mind of. I am wanting to befriend him(or at least try) Maybe that will allow me to handle this better. Any thoughts?

Amplexor · 06-10-2008, 02:26 PM

The best way to influence your wife’s friends is to treat her with respect and love. By showing her you regret your mistakes and will never stray again will influence her friends. There is little you can do in direct interaction with them. You are the heel until proven otherwise. Your wife has influence over them, not you.

swedish · 06-10-2008, 02:35 PM

I agree with Amp on the first question. Instead of worrying about what they are saying to your wife, beat them to it (you may already have) and say you agree with this or that and let your wife see your remorse for the past mistakes, coupled with the changes you're making.

Question 2 really depends on where you are at with your wife. Going behind her back to try to win him (or her friends) over might feel like a big invasion of her space at this point because that's most likely her support network (even if they are giving her advice you may not agree with). If you get to a point where you are talking and trying to work on your marriage, maybe suggest going to lunch with him (the three of you) because you want to get to know him better. I would definitely be patient in that regard and work with your wife's timetable.

hitrockbottom · 06-10-2008, 04:18 PM

I would definitely be patient in that regard and work with your wife's timetable.

Yeah thats what I figured....thanks guys.

draconis · 06-11-2008, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amplexor

The best way to influence your wife’s friends is to treat her with respect and love. By showing her you regret your mistakes and will never stray again will influence her friends. There is little you can do in direct interaction with them. You are the heel until proven otherwise. Your wife has influence over them, not you.

listen to the guru!

draconis