Need help on angry partner
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Old 07-06-2007, 10:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Need help on angry partner

I've been with my girlfriend for about 1 year. Recently she got pregnant and finally willing to marry me. The problem is - I dont seem to be the perfect guy for her. She don't love me as much as I love her. She is still thinking of her ex bf. Worst of all, she wanted breakup and abortion numerous times (>15times).
I know all these are unreasonable and she is not worth my love. But I love her too much and I can't bear to go for an abortion.

Now, since she is pregnant,I wanted to be responsible and marry her. I wanted to take care of her and give her a good life. She seem to start accepting me and willing to give in a little. But her anger and temper is still so unpredictable. Let me explain why.

Case1: I went for a business meeting with a customer and we did drink and smoke a little (about 2glasses and 2 stick of cigrattes). The problem is - I did promised her to stop smoking. However, I smoked when the customer insisted. Well, I'm not trying to find an excuse. But shouldnt she be more understanding? I'm working as sales.
Well, I left the meeting early (leaving the customer and my boss) just to be back and bring her for dinner. But when I reach home, her anger start to take control of her. She started crying. She dont want to have dinner. She don't want to talk. I don't understand why. We spend the night in silence until she she finally doze off.

Case2: I promise to have dinner with her at 7pm. Then I went to play game with several friends and is impossible for me to leave in the middle of the game (gamers will understand). Thus I'm a little late - 7.30pm. When I reach her house, she wanted a breakup. Is it reasonable to ask for a breakup for being late for half an hour? I'm just playing games. Not clubbing !!!

How good I'm? Let me explain...
I cook for her, I wash her clothes (hand wash), drive in the middle of the night to see her, buy her supper at 3am, cook for her in 3am daily(since pregnant, she eat a lot), do house chores (mopping, sweeping, wiping), miss appointment with friends because she wanted to see me, reduce drinking and smoking and lastly work harder to fulfill her "good life" needs (sleep less than 5hours daily cause teach tuition and do housechores). I may seem to exxxxxagrates things, but I swear is the truth!

I read several articles on anger management and relationship anger. I did recommend her to read them. But she is not interested and insisted that it is not her fault.
From my observation; I feel that she have a serious anger problem. She've been pampered since young and everyone have to give in to her. Whenever there is a problem, she will push away all the responsibilities and insisted that she is not wrong. She will push the blame on someone else.
She come from a broken family. Her parents divorce when she is in teens. Her mother never care for her. Her father is too strict on her.

Her elder sister dislike her attitude. Her grandmum thinks she is unfillial. Her best friend left her after she throw tantrum. She don't have many friends. Her ex-bf doesn't even want to see her nor hear her voice.
She have a very very serious problem.

I needed help to solve her attitude problem. I can't seem to brainwash her. I'm suffering mentally and physically. I can't sleep at night thinking of these and it is driving me crazy. I will appreciate if someone can please tell me how to make her appreciate me?
Please help me. I'm going crazy with each passing day. I've spend endless night thinking of this.

Should I give up the child and leave her or
just bear with all her craziness until I finally die?
What will my child be in the future? I'm worried if she wanted divorce after the child is born.

Please write to me at jonathantcs@gmail.com
By the way, she is Taurus and born on 17 May 1975.
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Old 07-07-2007, 11:35 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I really think that the emotions of pregnancy are not helping. But reading your post I would have to say she is looking for a way out. Almost like she is pushing you to make the move. I hope it works out in the end.
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Old 07-08-2007, 01:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
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It does seem that she is looking for a way aout, so you might need to give it to her. The other thing you might consider is not making any promises to her because it seems to set things up for her to be angry and for you to fail her....not that you are trying to, mind you.
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Old 07-09-2007, 04:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I read your post and i am going through the same kinda stuff, just a little further down the line. My daughter is 2 now. My advice is get out now, before there is a little person that is around to hear the fights. I am trying to decide if it is right to leave. But I am looking for someone to talk to about this and you sound like you know how it is. So if you would like to contact me my e-mail is JennyB0519@hotmail.com It would be nice to hear from you. And I could probably let you know what is to come a little later! Relationships that start like this may work for a while but eventually you start to see that you can't live your life like this!
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Old 07-11-2007, 03:19 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jen0519 View Post
I read your post and i am going through the same kinda stuff, just a little further down the line. My daughter is 2 now. My advice is get out now, before there is a little person that is around to hear the fights. I am trying to decide if it is right to leave. But I am looking for someone to talk to about this and you sound like you know how it is. So if you would like to contact me my e-mail is JennyB0519@hotmail.com It would be nice to hear from you. And I could probably let you know what is to come a little later! Relationships that start like this may work for a while but eventually you start to see that you can't live your life like this!
I agree with getting things resolved before the child becomes conscious of the family situation.
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