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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 07-04-2010, 12:26 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 46
made fun of me behind my back

*not sure if Iím seeking advice or if I am just going to rant and let it be

I just found out that when I was asleep my husband made a comment to our friend, who he barely knows, about my weight when he was over the other night. It just really hurts. After becoming pregnant I gained a lot of weight, but my husband would always tell me it was ok and that I wasn't overweight. When I would make a comment, he would tell me I look beautiful and that I don't need to change a thing. But then when we see someone about the same size as me he would make a comment about them. Well the other night I was asleep on the couch and he and the friend were in the kitchen. My husband was going through the mail and saw a weight loss ad, I assume, and showed the friend. The friend actually dug the add out of the trash last night to show me and told me that my husband pointed to the after picture and said that's what I used to look like, then pointed to the before picture and said that's what I look like now.

This just really hurts. He knows I am very sensitive about my weight and looks right now, especially since it's been difficult for me to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. This really upsets me and I don't know what to do. I know he wonít admit he did or act like he did nothing wrong since he's never admitted anything in the past, even when I've caught him. I can't look at him the same. A month or so ago I told him that his coworker told me that he thought we were getting a divorce; the guy told me that a while ago my husband told him that he was done with me and had the divorce papers. When I told my husband he said the guy was probably lying and wanted to make things difficult for us since his marriage was ending.

We have been dealing with issues for a while and since I was pregnant things have never been the same. He wants me to get checked out for depression, and after finding out what he did I really want to now. After hearing what he said just makes me more self conscious and just down. I can deal with myself being upset about my looks, but when my own husband goes off and tells people how fat I am it just makes me want to cry(which I already did and still try to not cry every time I think about it).

Ugh. Well I just don't know what to do other then vent and try to forget about it. But I can't just forget. This is something very hurtful to me. We've been having issues with intimacy and now I don't even care if he never touches me again.

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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 07-04-2010, 07:17 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 4,167
Re: made fun of me behind my back

Originally Posted by woe_is_me View Post
He wants me to get checked out for depression, and after finding out what he did I really want to now. After hearing what he said just makes me more self conscious and just down
If I put up with a husband like that, I would be depressed too! Unfortunately I was once there. I put up with years of mental abuse and didn't even realize it at the time. After I lived with a genuine narcissist for over 20 years I had low self-esteem, depression, and anger. A wonderful therapist made me see what was really going on. So, my advice is to find a great therapist and work on yourself. And here's a HUG too!
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