J in PA

I'm married for the second time and have discovered something very upsetting. My husband went out of town last night. He has a PDA and I discovered that he had emailed women that had posted very explicit postings on a website for the town he's going to. I called his cell phone and confronted him and he said he wasn't doing anything, and that he was just joking around. I feel like he was making arrangments to meet someone in this town.

Sadly, I had made a similar discovery about my first husband. That divorce was heartbreaking and I can't see turning a blind eye in this marriage if I wouldn't in my first.

It's more complicated because my current husband and I have a baby.

Can anyone give me some advice? Does every man do this? Or how is it that I've managed to find two that do. Or am I overreacting, as my husband says I am.

Thanks-
J in PA

justean

hi j, well i had the same as u, my first hubby had an affair, second hubby has just had a one nite stand and we have 2 children.
i believe u r right in your instinct. my instincts were correct with both of mine. and no you are not over reacting.
im being honest of my opinion ( coming from a scorned woman herself) its not a joke - its real.
you can tell yourself as much as you like - but its real.
most men given it on a plate will take it, i promise. (there is the odd exception) but you have to be your own detective. you have to dig deeper. the answers might not b to your liking but atleast you know.
like me you r just unfortunate.
explicit material from another women in emails is real.
explicit material on websites, well id say alot of ppl do it. websites are fantasy. there is a difference.
take care j

crystalandmatt412

Well, I suppose I am a rare exception where I wouldn't "take it". A lot of men, like myself, are very happy with who they are with. Coming from a guy's standpoint...let me ask you a couple of questions. Have you and your husband fought at all lately?? Has there been any difference at home in everyday life?? Do you think he's cheated on you before?? I'm not in any way advocating cheating...not in the SLIGHTEST. But, it seems as if something may have happened to provoke something. Also, coming from a guy...you did catch him. He had every intent of doing what you thought he did.

monalisa

The above answer was interesting to me and very refreshing. Your words spoke sincerely and I believe that you are absolutely correct. This is off the current topic but I thought I might ask you. I caught my husband googling escort reviews. He forgot to delete everything and traces of it remained. When I confronted me, he adamantly denied it saying it could be anyone, even his friends which is a total lie because we had married and moved in together about a month before and he had his computer completely wiped clean because we were sharing his. He even broke out in sweat denying and eventually, he did admit he looked at it but not because of anything. He thought it was fascinating that the koreans were doing this or something like that and gave another lame excuse. BTW, he's korean. But after that incident, I lost all trust in him. Eventhough it wasn't like I caught him in the act, I feel like if the intent isn't there, no one will look that up. I think it's different than looking at porn or nude pictures. He was looking for escort reviews. That's something I don't think guys look at unless they are searching for one, in my opinion. It's been a year and I still don't trust him. What do you think? Can you give me your honest opinion about this coming from a male point of view? Thanks.