have sex only 1/Y!

eloveletter · 06-17-2008, 01:25 AM

My wife and I have been married for 10 years. She's 38, I'm 52.

When we married, she was a virgin. That was my second marriage. During our 10 years of marriage, she's only agreed to have sex with me once a year, twice has been the maximum. I mentioned to her if she didn't want to do it, I might end up having sex with other women, she wept after hearing this. I once cheated on her with a work partner, and found the girl so sweet. But I felt guilty afterwards; I didn't want to hurt them both, so I stopped the affair.

I thought of divorce 5 years ago, but she disagreed. Last year when we slept together, she conceived a baby for me, which makes us less likely to divorce.

So basically we've been living a life chastely. Once we went to a doctor, but she was found nothing wrong! me, either. I know I have sexual desires, but things don't seem to work out.

Has anyone here or anyone you know ever had such a problem? What can I do with such a marriage? What's wrong with her?

Deejo · 06-17-2008, 06:19 AM

Forgive the cynic in me ...

You have sex with your wife once a year, and in that singular event last year, she conceived, at age 37-38? Although I certainly cannot say it's impossible, it seems incredibly unlikely. Again, I know nothing about you or your spouse, but the first thing that went through my mind is either you are playing us - or you're being played.

She sounds asexual: Asexual Visibility and Education Network - Home

Although many people may admire the fact that someone remains a virgin until being nearly 30-years-old, I generally assume there are issues attached to the reason. Given the description of your sexual relationship, it does not appear that she was simply 'saving herself'.

draconis · 06-19-2008, 01:42 AM

I think you need to find out what is the root problem for her to have sex only once a year. Just because she is physically okay doesn't mean that mentally/emotionally/spiritually she is okay.

draconis

justean · 06-19-2008, 06:34 AM

once a year . gosh everytime your around her. you must feel like a walking sex bomb. ready to go off.
having you tried touching her a bit more.
i must be honest, i get cranky if i dont get it atleast 4 times per week.
given the one a year. you must feel very lonely. i know i would.
but having been in this situation for 10 years is a long time.
personally , you are still a very young man.
unless your really willing to get the bottom of this , you wont know where you stand.
but how long can you be expected to have a life of celibacy, when its obviously something you enjoy.