Dont feel strong enough
I have written on previous post before. To make a long story short - At the end of the month, my husband and I will make 1 year. It has been very emotional and stressful moments in our lives since we got back from our honeymoon. He would continuously drink on the weekends, and say disrespectful things about me and about my friends. I have and had been pleading with him to stop because he will loose my love. He has gotten so far as getting a DWI and wasting half of our wedding money on these dumb classes and programs for something that is not helping. He continues to drink and it is so sad to see him look this way. He is not abusive- I just I hate to see the person I love be in this state. He is a caring and kind hearted person, but after all this emotion of us fighting, I honestly do not have the urge to fight for this anymore. There is no mental or physically fire between us, we literally live like Roommates- sad, I know. I did tell him that I am unhappy and I am not ready to bring a child in, if two adults can’t be strong, no sense in bringing a child into this world. I don’t want to cheat, or have wondering eys, for I know that is not the way to make things better.
Basically, I am unhappy, and I don’t want to fight for this marriage anymore, I feel he will not change, and it will reoccur again. I have given him numerous chances; to the point my friends don’t want him around as much. We are both 30 with no kids. What I am afraid of, is facing something that I might regret. His parents will be hurt, and it hurts me to have to put them in this. My mother knows what goes on, and she did ask me to give him a chance, in which I did- but obviously it happened again with his drinking.
But right now at this moment, I just want to be by myself and enjoy myself with no stress and focus on me.
Is this just a phase??
Thanks for reading, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.