Don't like Wife's New Tattoo
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Old 07-17-2010, 09:40 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

After a night out with her girlfriend, my wife told me she had a surprise for me. With that announcement she showed me a tiny flower she had tattooed on her left breast. I was upset for a couple of reasons. I have never been crazy about tattoos and I especially didn't like them on her. I was also upset that she didn't ask me how I thought about it before she did it. And probably the thing that bothered me the most was that she removed her shirt and bra in front of the three men who worked there and was topless for the whole procedure.

My wife I think is a natural beauty. She young, attractive, and I felt this cheapens her appearance. What do others think of breast tattoos and what is involved in removing them?
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Old 07-17-2010, 11:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

Makes me wonder what she HASN'T told you!!
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Old 07-18-2010, 03:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

Bear in mind, when you do talk to her, that she was probably very excited to show you her tattoo - may even have considered it a turn-on and hoped you would too. It sounded like she told you as soon as she got home with it. If you reacted strongly opposite from what she'd hoped her feelings will be badly hurt, and that should be addressed right away in the conversation, before you start talking about your feelings. A simple acknowledgment that it was important to her and that she wanted you to know right away, might be enough. Then give her a chance to express how she felt about it.
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Old 07-18-2010, 03:55 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

What's done is done. Tattoo removal is not a good idea it leaves a scar that's worse than the "tiny" tattoo".
Ruining your marriage over this is not worth it!

Those tattoo guys see breasts and other body parts daily so that shouldn't really be something to worry about. If she went to a male ob/gyn would it bother you?

The thing is it's her body and if she was excited to show you then she thought you might like it too. If it's on her breast, hidden under clothes and bra then she did it for you.

Might grow on you...
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Old 07-18-2010, 05:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

I agree about the men looking at her while giving her a tatoo...I dont think that's right at all, but getting a tatoo shouldnt be a big deal. It is her body...just like you have your body.
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Old 07-19-2010, 02:43 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

I agree. The tattoo shouldn't be a big deal. I would be pissed with my wife sitting topless with a couple of dudes looking at her.
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Old 07-19-2010, 02:55 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

Considering I have tattoos myself, you already know my answer. Tattoo artists see all sorts of things when they tattoo. It's her body, and she can put a tattoo on if she chooses. You have the right to not like the tattoo, yes. It's up to you (and your right) to decide if that is worth ending your relationship or not.

My wife has a few tattoos on certain parts of her anatomy as well. It didn't bother me her getting those any more then having her go to her male OBGYN.
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Old 07-19-2010, 03:23 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

Not cool at all in my opinion. Looks here like one person's trash is another's treasure, I wouldn't like that and for her to not even solicit your opinion shows what she thinks of your marriage. And don't compare it to a doctor visit, that's just dumb.
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Old 07-19-2010, 03:27 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

So when I decide to get a bone in my nose and my wife doesn't like it because I didn't inform her first, should I be annoyed since it is my body and she should have appreciated that I did it for her?

Or maybe should I talk to her beforehand and ask her whether she would like to see me with a bone in my nose for the rest of my life?

At the very least I'd have her opinion on what she thinks about bones through the nose before I go ahead and do it thinking it would turn her on.

Because, really, removing the thing will be difficult and leave a hole that will make my nose whistle with every breath.
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Old 07-19-2010, 04:11 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

Roll with it about the tat. It's her bod, maybe it's been a fantasy thing for her for a while that she wanted to share with you.

Ask her specifics about being topless. Was she really? Was she covered up? What are your boundaries here? Express those, but gently.

All in all, be excited for her but set boundaries about other dudes. That's what I say anyway.
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Old 07-19-2010, 04:13 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

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Originally Posted by michzz View Post
So when I decide to get a bone in my nose and my wife doesn't like it because I didn't inform her first, should I be annoyed since it is my body and she should have appreciated that I did it for her?

Or maybe should I talk to her beforehand and ask her whether she would like to see me with a bone in my nose for the rest of my life?

At the very least I'd have her opinion on what she thinks about bones through the nose before I go ahead and do it thinking it would turn her on.

Because, really, removing the thing will be difficult and leave a hole that will make my nose whistle with every breath.
What if you wanted to get an earring? A tattoo? I think there's a world of difference between facial mutilation and a small tattoo.
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Old 07-19-2010, 04:18 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

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What if you wanted to get an earring? A tattoo? I think there's a world of difference between facial mutilation and a small tattoo.
I used hyperbole on purpose. One man's cool bone through the nose, is another man's facial mutilation--capiche?
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Old 07-19-2010, 04:35 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

Tattoo artists see breast and other private parts daily so that should not be his biggest concern.

Agree with michzz, everyone has their own concept of beauty, in some cultures its tattoos, some piercings, others consider overweight women to be beautiful, and others skinny, bones through nose, penis, rings on neck and such.
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Old 07-19-2010, 04:54 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

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I used hyperbole on purpose. One man's cool bone through the nose, is another man's facial mutilation--capiche?
I get what you're trying to say, and I see your point. My point is that a small tattoo that is easily hideable is different from a facial thing that everyone sees all the time and could impact the family for the rest of your life.
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Old 07-20-2010, 08:50 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't like Wife's New Tattoo

I got my first tattoo at the beginning of the year and my second a week ago. I would have gotton them a lot earlier if I knew I would not be allergic to the ink (ie: before I met my husband). I did tell my husband I was getting one and he didn't seem to mind too much. This is my body, he does not own it, I did not sign it over to him when I signed my marriage certificate. They are not obvious tattoos that would embarrass him when we have to go to formal functions. I did them for me, he loves me regardless.
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