What is acceptable, normal, and how often do you have disagreements, argue, or fight.
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Old 07-17-2010, 06:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default What is acceptable, normal, and how often do you have disagreements, argue, or fight.

I posted a similar peace on my main discussion, but thought it might be helpful for all to see what is normal and acceptable and what is not when it comes to disagreements, arguing, and fighting.

I would like to see how often and how light or heavy they get, and gage them on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being minor and 10 being major if you can.
And are the daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly?

this will help me and I figure this will give every one else an idea what is normal and acceptable and what is not.
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Old 07-17-2010, 07:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is acceptable, normal, and how often do you have disagreements, argue, or fi

For me and my wife is as follows

Disagreements
2 to 10 time a day. mostly about where to put stuff or find stuff or about how to watch the baby. mostly a on a scale of 2 to 3

Arguments
2 time a day on a good day to and about 6 time a day on a bad day, most of the are disagreements the get escalated to an argument when one of us continues to push the issue, most of the time its her not able to keep her temper under control but some time I push the issue to. scale of a 4 to 5.

Fights.
about 1 to 2 time a week a with a scale of 3 to 4.
about 1 to 2 a month with a scale of 5 to 6.
and about once every 4 to 6 month it a 7 to 8.
in the 13 years of marriage we have problem had about 10 or so over 8
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Old 07-18-2010, 01:02 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is acceptable, normal, and how often do you have disagreements, argue, or fi

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrHope View Post
For me and my wife is as follows

Disagreements
2 to 10 time a day. mostly about where to put stuff or find stuff or about how to watch the baby. mostly a on a scale of 2 to 3

Arguments
2 time a day on a good day to and about 6 time a day on a bad day, most of the are disagreements the get escalated to an argument when one of us continues to push the issue, most of the time its her not able to keep her temper under control but some time I push the issue to. scale of a 4 to 5.

Fights.
about 1 to 2 time a week a with a scale of 3 to 4.
about 1 to 2 a month with a scale of 5 to 6.
and about once every 4 to 6 month it a 7 to 8.
in the 13 years of marriage we have problem had about 10 or so over 8
This actually sounds like how my H and I used to fight in the beginning of our relationship. Now I would say we disagree on a lot of things but its so trivial i dont even remember. We have arguments maybe once or twice a month on a scale of 2-3, and we fight about ever six months or so around 4. I think it oscillates though. Im sure if we ever have kids we'll revisit the old days of knock out fighting. hence the reason we dont have kids.
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Old 07-18-2010, 01:39 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is acceptable, normal, and how often do you have disagreements, argue, or fi

lol.


Disagreements?

my husband and I have disagreements about 5 times a day. we don't agree on everything, but it doesn't escalate, one or both of us will drop it usually and leave it alone. We've always appreciated how opinionated the other of us is, why bother fighting over it?

arguements?

I'd say we've had about 10 arguements in the 5 years we've been together, neither of us likes argueing. And I specifically will avoid it at all costs.

Fights?

We've had maybe three big fights between us.

now on the other hand, we do bicker like children frequently. We're both very childish, I cling to my childhood and so does he, we'll bicker over and and everything video games, computer time, coffee, weather, memories. No feelings hurt, no harmful words just uh huh, nuh uh conversations.


We also tend to have more conversations than anything. Big conversations. I value talking about things, I feel its the best approach, and if there is a problem it will wait until we can both handle a conversation on the topic rather than it blowing up into a huge fight.
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Old 07-18-2010, 09:43 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is acceptable, normal, and how often do you have disagreements, argue, or fi

Disagreements? Not many. I'd say, averages out to about once or twice a month, if that. But, disagreement can mean anything from I like licorice and he doesn't, to he wants to live in X and I want to live in Y. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd probably go with 1.

Arguments? I think we've had 3 or 4 in the entire time we've been together. Probably a 3 or 4 on the scale.

Fights? One in our entire relationship, and it was a biggie. This was probably a 9 on the scale, we nearly broke up.

We both have a rather...colorful relationship history. I was cheated on and lied to, and in a marriage with someone who was rather scary and often left me feeling as though I should hide in the closet if he was angry, which has left some major scars. I also had a temper problem that didn't help in that relationship. My boyfriend has been cheated on, used for money and other things, and accused of things he didn't do.

As a result of this history, we're both pretty careful in how we express our anger or frustration with each other. We both tend to try really hard to think before we speak, and to not speak in anger if we can help it. Sometimes we slip, sometimes we say something that we should have thought about first. But we try really hard to avoid that, which is why we tend to have so few disagreements, arguments, and fights.
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