07-20-2010, 06:44 PM
Join Date: Jul 2010
| | My husband's ex-girlfriend and my SIL.
I am new here and I've been looking for a place to kind of vent about the problem that I'm having and see if anyone else has had to deal with anything like this.
First off, I am a young mother and wife. I have been with my husband for a little over 5 years now and we have 2 children together. Our marriage has had its ups and downs, but we are in a good place right now, and we don't really argue about anything...except his ex-girlfriend and his sister.
The problem is that his ex has suddenly within the last year decided that she wants to be friends with his sister. (His sister is 15 by the way.) It's not really the friendship that I have a problem with, I don't say anything about it to my sister in law...just my husband, and he thinks I'm worried over it too much. I just can't help it though, this girl has done all sorts of crazy things from the very start of our relationship and I feel like she's just being friends with his sister to maybe see him, or just to hear about him and his life and our problems.
When I found out I was pregnant with our first child this girl went around saying she was pregnant too, she called my mother and told her all kinds of crazy things. When she told my husband she was pregnant (he knew she wasn't) he told her he was not going to leave me to be with her and about a week after that she 'lost the baby' and went with her mother and took a 50-B out on him (the judge basically laughed in their faces when it was time for them to go to court, we were teenagers after all). After that she told him she was raped, he still didn't pay her any mind. When that didn't work she told him her grandfather died...He really didn't. She used to come by my workplace and then later call me and say that she saw I was at work earlier. Finally things calmed down as I got along with my pregnancy, and then one day she called my mother and said that she had been invited by my husband's mother to my baby shower. She somehow got my husband's new cell phone number and started calling it at random times every day. I have always just ignored her.
Everything calmed down for awhile, she ended up having a child with her boyfriend and I thought maybe that would be the end of all of the craziness. I was wrong. She suddenly decides that her boyfriend is no good and that's when she started hanging out with my sister in law. I didn't care about it at first, even though his sister told him 'I think she still likes you'...I just laughed it off as usual. And then we hit a rough patch in our marriage and decided to do a trial separation. We were friendly the whole time we were separated and we didn't see other people. We were only separated for maybe 2 months. However, a few weeks into our separation his ex showed up at his workplace with her child and asked if we planned to get back together and when he told her we were she asked 'Why?' and said 'If you think you guys are going to work it out then I guess I won't waste my time.' When he told me she did this I was stuck between being angry and amused because I know perfectly well even if we didn't work things out he wouldn't go back to her, but I thought it was totally disrespectful of her. After he shot her down she went and messaged his sister via myspace (she had no phone) to tell my husband to leave her alone even though she was the one who tried to reconnect with him.
After all of this I just find it very hurtful that my sister in law would bring her around after all of the things that she has pulled on me and my husband. My husband has explained all of this to her, and I understand that she's 15 and also free to do what she wants, but my family would never do anything like that to my husband. I feel silly getting so worked up over this, but I can't help it because it's just the way I feel. So, I came here to vent someplace besides to my husband. I would really appreciate any advice or opinions, even if you just want to tell me I'm making this into a bigger deal than it is.