07-28-2010, 07:12 AM
Join Date: Jul 2010
| | Re: You can't even understand what i am going through.
I am so sorry. You must be so totally hurt and confused. Does he talk to you at all? Your post doesn't give much information.
I can't tell you why this happened,but maybe he felt the preasure was too much and had to get out of the house? I do not know,I am just guessing.
First, you have kids and I will tell you that I do know this has to be really hard on them. My husbands dad waited until his birthday, hubby went to school and mom left. He packed up everything he owned, and called hubby that night and told him he left and happy birthday.Four months of issues, is not terribly long to up and leave. Did he give you signs of being unhappy? Would he agree to go to counseling, even if you said you needed it for closure? After 23 years, I hardly find that to be unreasonable.
What are you doing for yourself? Are you taking care of yourself? You sound so heartbroken, but you know what, you HAVE to get up and keep moving. Get dressed everyday and find an activity or group that you always wanted to try. You need to keep your mind off of him every minute of the day. Regardless of what happens, you need to be stable for your kids and for yourself. His decision to leave like that is on him, what you do to keep your family together is on you. Focus on you at the moment.
If you are talking to each other, ask to speak with him privately. Tell him, you are not sure what happened and after investing this much time in a marraige,you deserve to at least know why he left. He has to talk to you at some point. Don't guilt him for leaving, even though his way of doing things was weird. Stay strong and listen.
I wish you the best, stay strong and your in my prayers.