12-30-2011, 10:19 AM
Join Date: Sep 2009
Originally Posted by OptimisticPessimist
An inferiority complex (the source of low self-esteem) is created when a man (or woman) fails to realize that no two people are created equal; nature will always give certain people advantages in certain ways over others.
Unfortunately, the qualities considered valuable by society, especially among youth, are often based strictly on appearance and the acquisition (or capabality to get) of material assets. The incessant peddling of "ideals" pushed ad nauseum by advertising firms and corporations in the pursuit of profit often create unrealistic aspirations for perfection in many ways, and do so with the threatening knife of social exile. Wisdom, moral development, and the knowledge that the only true value in life exists within the mind is ultimately very bad for the profit sheets of virtually every corporation on the planet.
Where Im going with this is: I dont profess to have a perfect answer for your question of what it is you should do. By posting here and by reading the nature of your questions, it is fairly obvious you are seeking social justification for either cheating on your husband, or leaving your husband in the interest of pursuing another man who socially, sexually, and emotionally validates you. Ultimately, I feel the problem which has created this question is as a result of mankind failing to instill proper values in the dominant public narrative of society- you have the "low self-esteem issues" because you are likely focusing on things that should not matter. Are you giving? Are you focused on bettering your understanding of the world? If yes, that is so much more important to carry on (via offspring) than a nice set of tits, see? Unfortunately, you must pay the price for accepting false values (and your husband will as well).
I think you must also consider this "best friend" of yours. If he is so valuable to you as a friend, why would you want him to live a lie? Low self-esteem lead you to accept a man that you yourself didnt particularly love (as a man in a man-woman type love) in the interest of being socially validated by his affections, and now he lives a lie while you are deprived of true passion and attraction- vanity is a b****. I say tell him the truth but FULLY understand you were primarily what contributed to this situation; knowing this, you should be absolutely fair as possible to him and to his rights as a father.
It is interesting you mention we only live once- that is typically only the opinion of an athiest. As I am an athiest myself, I would agree with moving on, but I would be interested to hear the perspective of those who are religous considering your vows were to God and your questions/decisions are inherently focused on self-interest.
I know its an old post, but I really like this a lot. I think about how every decision I make impacts my children and my future. That attractive man down the hall is not the father of my children, he will not love them and care about them like my H does.... He might be fun, who knows? I have fun in my life without that man. If I couldn't find any happiness in my life, I mean none based on my current living life, I might try and find something else to make me happy. But that becomes a never ending cycle until you can find happiness within. Posted via Mobile Device