JADACHD

Let me start by saying that i've never had any info that my wife has cheated. I'm not stupid and i do watch for signs.
BUT, She seems to be touchy feely with guys. Nothing sexual. Example, if we're at the ball park and there is a guy there that we know she has no problem touching his shoulder when she laughs. Or she may crack a joke when the guy walks by(nothing sexual). She's like that to most guys that work at the park. Most of they guys are married and shes that way even when their wife is standing there.
This past weekend she made a big deal out of my sisters husband accidentally touching her butt while we were in the kitchen. By big deal i mean that she was bugging him saying he did it on purpose, trying to embarrass him.
Now with all that said, she gives me very little attention. Sure we hug and kiss every morning and every night, but she doesn't act flirty with me, or give me any reaction if i touch her butt.
We do have a sex life. Just seems she isn't excited around me. What up with that??? I'm i just over-reacting???

jeffreygropp

I'm not sure the underlying reason or psychological reasoning behind it... but that would drive me nuts also.

nice777guy

She likes attention from other men. Attention from you is expected, so its not quite so exciting.

As long as she isn't hiding her cell phone, or staying up late on the computer, then it's probably just what you've described.

Have you ever said anything directly to her about it?

JADACHD

No, she doesn't hide anything or stay up late on the PC.
Yeah, we've talked about it. She acts like i'm crazy for even saying something like that.

Just seems she isn't excited with me. I'm always trying to do stuff that her and the kids will like and have fun doing, but i just can't get her to show me any excitement.
Sure, i get excited around other women, but i also act that way around my wife.
She laughs and joke and has a good time when around other people, including her own family(cousins, newphews, nieces, etc...), but just seems to go through the motions of marriage with me. She doesn't want a divorce or even for me to leave for a short time. She says she wants to be around me. I just don't see it. It even seems like she tries to make me happy sometimes, but i just don't udnerstand why it doesn't come naturally, like it does for her with everyone else.

nice777guy

If it bothers you, its a problem. Not sure what to do about it.

I can remember reading once that great marriage partners (GREAT) aren't only faithful, but they also give the appearance of being faithful so there's never any doubt that they are in love and unavailable.

Good luck...

turnera

What have you done to keep your marriage from being in a rut?

JADACHD

I don't know of anything we've done lately to keep it out of a rut. I guess i figure if she's gonna seem happier with anyone but me, then why try. It's not that she is unhappy around me or goes around mad all the time. Just don't see that excitement in her eyes that i see when she is around other people. We're so busy we don't have a lot of time to do stuff. We have two daughters. They play ball all summer, then when that was over, my wife, kids and Motheri-in-law went out of town for a week. Kids are about to start back to school. Between shopping, registering kids and both of us working full time, we just don't have us time. But this has been going on for years. It's like she wants me there but has no drive for me.(And i don't mean sex drive). We have sex but it seems like it's more to keep me happy than anything.

greeneyeddolphin

If she behaves like this when wives are there, then I'd say she's not intentionally doing anything inappropriate (not flirting in hopes of cheating or anything). She's just being...overly friendly. It wouldn't be a problem if you didn't feel neglected.

In one way I think it could be an attention thing, that she just likes getting attention, doesn't matter who from. Except that doesn't explain why she doesn't want attention from you, or give attention to you.

Have you talked to her, and asked her what's up with that? If not, I'd start there. If you have, have the conversation again. Tell her how much it bothers you, how neglected you feel, and how it's really starting to make you feel like there's no point. Counseling might even be a good idea.

JADACHD

Thanks everyone.
I think you are right atruckersgirl. I feel like she does like the attention and i don't think it's any more than that. Never seen any evidence that it's more than that.
I just feel left out i guess.
I know this doesn't seem like much of a problem compared to a lot of stuff on this forum, but it does hurt.
I have talked to her but i will try again. She's not a real open person so it will be like pulling teeth.
Ya'll have a good day.
Thanks again.

turnera

So why aren't you giving her thrills like they are? Figure out how.

There's a great book called 52 Invitations for Grrreat Sex that can put some spice back in your life.